Ex NASCAR Teammates Come To Blows And Try To Smash Faces, Driver Breaks Rib & Big Boobs Stun The Garage

While the rest of the country flipped over to Selection Sunday, I was LOCKED in on the Chase Elliott vs. Denny Hamlin battle in Vegas. 

Raise your hand if you were with me! OK, let me see, 1, 2, 3, 4 … yep. That's all of you. Patriots! The day I change a NASCAR race for anything basketball-related is the day I hang 'em up and call it a career. Not on my watch. March Shmarch. 

This is Vegas! Chase vs. Denny. Ross Chastain vs. Daniel Suarez! Did any of y'all see that little post-race tussle? Weird. Even weirder was Daniel's monologue afterward. Hold tight, we'll get there. 

What else? I've got Tiffany Stratton turning on all of the garage for obvious reasons, Carson Hocevar is NOT a fan of the wind, Kyle Busch breaking his rib and not telling NASCAR, and ever heard of Cowboy Pillows? 

Well, buddy, you are about to. Strap in. 

Four tires, enough fuel to get us back to the East Coast in one piece, and maybe a beer for Ross Chastain and Daniel Suarez so they can hammer it out like MEN … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘I’m Suddenly All In On Josh Bilicki After Seeing His Cowboy Pillows Sponsorship' edition – is LIVE!

I'm happy for Denny, but I'm locked in on Ross vs. Daniel

Look, I'm super happy for Denny Hamlin today. I am. Nobody had a more miserable offseason than Denny Hamlin, who lost his dad to a house fire, and he hasn't been the same all year. 

I'm a Chase Elliott guy, and I was glad Chase didn't catch him. Let Denny have this one. He needed it. His mom needed it. 

As for the race itself … it was fine. It was short. Less than 3 hours! That's unheard of in today's NASCAR. No real cautions for the most part. Some decent racing. Not the best automobile race in the world. Not the worst. If Chase had a couple extra laps, he probably would've won. Other than that? No real drama …

… during the race! 

After this bad boy wrapped up? We had fireworks out of NOWHERE!

Ross the Boss vs. Daniel Suarez … who ya got?!

PR people ruin everything 

Whoaaaaaaa Nellie! We got so close to an actual fight. I thought it was gonna happen, but this lady in the straw hat – I assume Ross's PR girl – really threw a wet towel on the whole thing. 

Hey, straw hat lady, back the hell off and let nature run its course! 

The worst. Back in my day, PR folks knew their place and let the boys be BOYS. Vegas, for those who don't remember, is notorious for letting boys be boys. 

But, of course, those boys were Joey Logano and Kyle Busch … a little different than Ross Chastain and Daniel Suarez:

Can't believe it's been almost 10 years since that fight. Is that the last great NASCAR fight we've had? Obviously, Kyle vs. Ricky Stenhouse (and his dad) a few years back after the All-Star race is up there, too. 

God, I'm going to miss Kyle Busch when he hangs 'em up. The last of a dying breed. 

Anyway, as for Ross and Daniel … it was odd, right? I've personally thought all season that Suarez's been racing with absolutely no f--ks given because of his ouster at Trackhouse, and, clearly, Ross feels the same way. I respect the hell out of it. I'd be racing the hell out of my old team, too, if they fired me. 

And, make no mistake about it, that's exactly what Trackhouse did. 

I will say, I'm not quite sure where Daniel was going in that post-race interview. It really started to go off the rails at the end when he was talking about … immigration? I'm not sure. Wild stuff, though. 

"At the end of the day, it's not my first rodeo. I've had to go through a lot to get to this point. That's just who I am. That's the journey I've had to take to be able to coming from a different country, so that's just part of it."

Yeah, I don't get it. I do like Daniel Suarez, though. I really like his wife, Julia Piquet. Absolute PISTOL:

Carson, Kyle, Tiff & pillow talk!

That's called sticking up for your man, ladies. Look it up! What a firecracker. 

OK, let's put the pedal to the floor and get to a couple quickies (hey now!) on the way out. Speaking of things that would end quickly …

My goodness. What a SPONSOR pull from Josh Bilicki! Could you IMAGINE if one of the top dogs pulled "Cowboy Pillows" and Mike Joy had to talk about them on the air after a win? I would love that. God, I'd love that. 

I'm obviously all in. Give me more Cowboy Pillows, and less Interstate. No offense to Christopher Bell and Bobby Labonte, but we get it. We know. It's the same damn sponsor every single year for these dudes. 

Couple of hot girls wearing basically nothing promoting a line of shirts that's obviously talking about dudes laying their heads on their giant boobs? I mean, does it get any more NASCAR than that? 

Don't think so. The F1 guys would FAINT! 

Relax. It's a joke. I don't want to hear it today. 

Next? Might as well stick with the hot girls while we're on the subject:

WWE's Tiffany Stratton was the honorary pace car driver yesterday. No real news to report here other than that. She seems like someone NASCAR fans could get behind. Just a hunch. 

Next? Carson Hocevar finished 22nd yesterday. He did NOT have a good time along the way:

10-4, Carson. NOT the wind. Got it. Stop telling Carson it's the wind, dummies! It wasn't the wind! The car just STINKS. 

Period, end of story. 

And, end of class today! Good work, everyone. Kyle Busch talking about how he once broke a rib racing backwards with Greg Biffle, and then not going to the hospital because then NASCAR would find out about it, seems like a solid way to start the week. 

See you at Darlington.