Dolphins' Atrocious MNF Jerseys Are Reminder They Should Bring Back Old Uniforms

As the Miami Dolphins' run defense gets gashed on national television, I'm left sounding like a broken record and repeating my credo from earlier today.

"Reject modernity, embrace tradition."

But what could I possibly be talking about?

Do I want the Dolphins to revert to a 44 Bear or 5-2 defensive front?

No, I am, of course, talking about their atrocious choice of wardrobe for this Monday Night Football matchup.

"Dark Water," huh? Yeah, I'm not buying it for a second.

They look more like a human billboard for a crappy nightclub in North Miami than they do serious football uniforms.

I suppose it's all apropos for a franchise as devoid of actual competent management or coaching.

They say dress for the job you want, and the Dolphins look like they're dressed to appear as a generic football team in an Oliver Stone movie.

What makes it even more of a head-scratching decision is the fact that the Dolphins have a set of uniforms that are, objectively, some of the best any team in the NFL has to offer.

Look at these threads, they're absolutely gorgeous!

The Miami Dolphins have these works of art sitting in their proverbial closet and they bust them out maybe once or twice a year.

Maybe it's just nostalgia; a longing for a time I wasn't even alive for.

A time when the Dolphins weren't a joke of a franchise and had guys like Griese, Csonka, Duper and Marino roaming the field.

If they can't wear the throwbacks from the 1970s and 80s, at least meet me halfway and give us the uniforms from the 90s and 2000s.

At least on those, the dolphin in question was actually wearing a helmet and didn't look like a create-a-team logo from an unlicensed pro football game for the Playstation 2.

Enjoy the game, folks. And remember to keep rejecting modernity.