Unwatchable Cleveland Browns, Amid Season Of $6 Tickets & Weekly Embarrassment, Can Make History In Unique Way
Cleveland's defense has allowed the fewest yards in the NFL
The futility of the Cleveland Browns has never been more apparent than the present. Cleveland’s roster spends three hours each Sunday playing the role of Washington Generals to every other franchise’s Globetrotters.
They’ve scored more than 17 points just twice in ten games and are outscored by more than a touchdown per game.
To put the 2-8 orange helmets into Grinch terms, they "stink, stank, stunk."
Rinse, repeat for … ohhh, just about the last 25 or so years with the occasional Baker Mayfield or Joe Flacco deodorizer.
Browns fans (assuming they still exist) have seen this story before. Repeatedly. It’s an annual waterboarding gifted to the Orange and Brown faithful courtesy of owner Jimmy Haslam, general manager Andrew Berry and head coach Kevin Stefanski.
The only thing that differentiates this fall from the dumpster fires of season’s past is that, somehow, someway, in the midst of a season in which tickets cost less than stadium nachos, the Browns might have both the league’s Defensive Player of the Year AND the NFL’s Defensive Rookie of the Year.
What the?
Myles Garrett enters Cleveland Browns Stadium to raucous cheers. (Photo by Nick Cammett/Getty Images)
Cleveland Has Two Award Favorites On One Side Of The Ball
Per DraftKings sportsbook, Myles Garrett (-280) is the current leader in the clubhouse to be named DPOY. Micah Parsons is second (+450). Cleveland’s rookie linebacker, Carson Schwesinger, has an even larger lead as the odds-on favorite for DPOY (-220). Seattle safety Nick Emmanwori is closer to Schwesinger, currently at +700.
Garrett, the 2023 DPOY, currently has 15 sacks which leads the league. He’s on pace to break the league’s single-season sack record of 22.5 held by both Michael Strahan and J.J. Watt.
Schwesinger, a 2nd round draft pick, is playing like an All-Pro. A Day One starter, he has 85 tackles, 1.5 sacks, two interceptions and eight tackles for loss.
CLEVELAND, OHIO - SEPTEMBER 21: Carson Schwesinger #49 of the Cleveland Browns sacks Jordan Love #10 of the Green Bay Packers in the third quarter during the NFL 2025 game at Huntington Bank Field on September 21, 2025 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Lauren Leigh Bacho/Getty Images)
In a pile of holiday garbage, Myles and Carson are a couple of unknowingly discarded Chili’s gift cards. Sizzling fajitas, honey-chipotle chicken crispers and house margs on someone else’s dime? (Yes, please.)
Should both Browns continue their pace and earn league honors, they’d be the first pair of teammates to win DPOY and DROY in league history. In 1981, Giants rookie LB Lawrence Taylor earned both awards himself, but no set of teammates has ever accomplished the feat.
These Browns can’t score points, can’t sell tickets, and can’t win games, but they might just tackle and sack their way into NFL history.
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