The Cheap Miami Marlins Are Bad, But Their Minor League Team Just Hit Rock Bottom In Horrific Fashion
Look, I know it's low-hanging fruit to pick on the Miami Marlins, but I don't care. They should be the Florida Marlins. They should still have the old logo. And, they should play in a football stadium.
Those are the Marlins I grew up with. Until those FLORIDA Marlins return, I don't mind mocking the organization.
Here's the deal … they're awful. Truly, truly awful. Their record may say 5-6 right now, but don't be fooled. This is a team that will most likely lose 100 games this season. Maybe a little more. Maybe a little less. But, it'll be in the ballpark.
You cannot name a single player on the team, beyond, perhaps, pitcher Sandy Alcantara – and he'll be traded by the summer. It's embarrassing. It's pathetic. I'm a Red Sox fan, but, as a Florida guy, it pains me.
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Anyway, this isn't about the Marlins' big-league club … this is about the Jupiter Hammerheads – the Single-A affiliate.
And if you read those opening few graphs and thought to yourself, ‘Surely, help is on the way?' … I've got some bad news for you: help does NOT appear to be on the way.
At all:
Not a great sign for the Miami Marlins here
My God … 22 walks!!!
For context, according to MLB.com, that's the most by a full-season Minor League team since at least 2005. The Major League record for walks (19) was set by the 1971 Washington Senators.
I didn't think any of that was possible – and I played for, easily, the worst D-3 baseball team in America from 2012-2015. Believe me, I know a thing or two about terrible baseball.
We never, ever, walked 22 batters. Ever. Sure, we gave up 22 runs all the time. That was a walk in the park. But we never actually walked 22 batters. That's almost impossible to do.
Even position players, when brought into pitch during blowouts, never walk batters. They just lob it up there and hope for the best – but it's almost always a strike.
But 22 walks?! Amazing. Here's the box score, for those wondering who the future insurance salesmen are who contributed to last night's feat:
Seven runs scored via walk. Two more scored via hit-by-pitch. And one more crossed home plate via wild pitch. Ten of the 19 runs scored last night were because Marlins pitchers forgot how to throw a baseball.
And don't forget, this is an organization that literally relies on minor league players. The farm system. The youngins. This is all they have.
They don't spend money. In fact, they spent so little money this past offseason, they were nearly investigated by the MLBPA.
Whoooooof. What a disaster. Sad.
Here's some Edgar Renteria to make us all feel better on the way out: