Bubba Wallace Gives Fans The Finger, Race-Baiting ESPN Drools Over His Blackness & NASCAR Star Mocks Weak Men

Well, this should be a nice, quiet, civil day in NASCAR world. Bubba Wallace winning the Brickyard 400? It certainly makes my job easier. But I'm just in it for the #clicks. The #content. 

Some weeks, I have to turn water into wine and make an SVG road course win exciting. Other weeks, I get gifted a Bubba win at a crown jewel race, and can basically take the rest of the week off. 

The tricky part here will be making it out of this class without you guys all calling me a liberal for not shitting on Bubba today. That'll be tough, but that's why they pay me the medium bucks! Let's roll. 

Yes, I was impressed by Bubba yesterday. Yes, the insufferable media types were ALL OVER IT … predictably, of course. Classic. We'll get to both today. 

I've also got NASCAR legend, Mike Skinner, calling out all the tiny, feminine drivers in today's world. He ain't wrong. 

After that, we'll look at the best moment of the weekend, which took place in Saturday's Busch race, and then, naturally, we'll check in with Alex Bowman's elite girlfriend, Chloe Henderson. 

She spent the weekend on the lake, and I'm hoping to God that this heater will make everyone forgive me by the end of this class for my pro-Bubba Wallace stance. 

Fingers crossed!

Four tires, enough fuel to get us around Indy for not one, but two overtimes, and maybe an atta boy for Alex Bowman because Chloe deserves some RESPECT … Monday Morning Pit-Stop – the ‘Bubba Smollet Won A Race!’ edition – is LIVE!

Bubba Wallace deserves credit, please don't shoot me

I got an email over the weekend that really struck me. It said things in there that I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. I've had nightmares the past two nights over it. 

Nasty stuff:

Zach - so you know, we're all pretty sure you are a closet Democrat.  It's become more and more obvious.

My God. That's a true email. I didn't make that up. Me? A Big D Lib?! That's nuts. It shook me to my core. What the hell did I do to elicit that email?! How do I fix it? Am I a closet Lib? 

A lot of questions … and Bubba Wallace winning ain't gonna help!

Look, Bubba was impressive yesterday at Indy. I'm not gonna sit here and sugarcoat it for the haters out there. I'd love to, but I can't. And I won't. 

This was not a rain-shortened win. This wasn't a plate win. This was the Brickyard 400, and this was holding off Kyle Larson not once, but TWICE down the stretch. 

Do you understand how impressive that is? Kyle Larson is far and away the most talented racer in NASCAR right now. It's not particularly close. 

Bubba held him off on back-to-back restarts where he didn't know if he would have enough fuel to even get the car going, much less around Indy two more times. 

Fair is fair, and I have to be fair here. I'd love to shit on Bubba today. It would be great for the #clicks. I'd certainly be out of this liberal closet I've been locked in. 

But this ain't the day. Bubba was impressive. From a pure racing standpoint, this was impressive:

Now, ESPN and the other woke losers? They're fair game!

I was prepared to put the mortgage on Kyle Larson before this restart. Seriously. I went to go bet it, and the lines were locked by the losers at Hard Rock Bet. Their loss! 

I was sure that Larson would find a way. Or, perhaps, I was sure that Bubba would blow it? Either way, thank God it wasn't an option, because we'd be fleeing the country today. 

Anyway, credit to Bubba. Again, he was excellent. But, he was still hilariously dramatic after the win, and that opens the door just a tad for me! Let's take a look:

Nothing super out of the ordinary for Bubba after this 'dub, but we got the classics … The finger to the crowd. The sitting against the wall. The towel to the face. It was the good stuff, but I'm not gonna mock it too much today. 

Lord knows I'd rather this than have to sit through another Christopher Bell or William Byron win. No offense to those firecrackers, of course, but they ain't pumping out this sort of #content after a win:

I always beg these guys not to be robots. Every week. I can't stand the robotic nature of the garage nowadays. Bubba going shirtless and slamming some wine after kissing the bricks? Give me that energy every single day of the week, and twice on Sunday. 

NOW, with all of that being said, I'm already so sick and tired of the predictable race-baiting headlines from the usual suspects. 

ESPN. CBS. Yahoo. Outlets that, frankly, do not give a shit about NASCAR are suddenly MMPSing today? Don't think so. Not on my watch, losers. Stay the hell away. We do not want you. 

"Bubba Wallace becomes first black driver to win Indy." That's literally the headline today. And it's everywhere. 

Hey, idiots – Bubba is going to be NASCAR's ‘first black driver’ to win at most tracks. As you have all told us a billion times over the years, this ain't exactly the most diverse sport. Are we really going to do THIS every single time Bubba wins for the rest of his career?

Really, Huffington Post editor Philip Lewis? THIS is your big news of the day? You suddenly care about NASCAR now?

OK!

Richard, Chloe & Skinner!

ESPN, CBS, Yahoo, Huff Post, the AP! All with the exact same headline. And folks wonder why Monday Morning Pit-Stop is the most-read NASCAR column in the country (allegedly) each and every week. 

It's because I don't pull bullshit like that and race-bait and act like Bubba is some sort of prop just to show how progressive I am. 

You know why yesterday was important? Because Bubba raced his ass off for maybe the first time in his career, and earned himself a playoff spot. 

Not because he's ‘tHe FiRsT bLaCk DrIvEr To WiN aT InDy.' That's just virtue-signaling from outlets that I can almost assure you haven't watched a single NASCAR race this year. 

Piss off, ESPN. God, I hate them. Same with the AP. Hey, AP – how's Air Force One looking nowadays?! Oh, you don't know? Good!

Whew. OK, let's quickly move on and get outta here, because we're at nearly 1100 words at this point and it's been all Bubba. Great. My inbox should be fun this week!

Speaking of … Zach.Dean@OutKick.com. Fire away!

First up? Let's check in with Austin Hill and Richard Childress from Saturday's Busch race!

Hilarious. First off, piss off Aric Almirola. Enough of this Aric Almirola. I thought he retired years ago? He's just down in the Xfinity Series now? Enough. 

I'm with Austin Hill here. I actually don't think he purposely punted Aric with an A into the wall. I don't. I think he over-corrected and took him out. How's that for a hot take? 

Also, RCR hasn't been a blue-collar team in 30 years. Come on, Richard. Don't bullshit a bunch of bullshitters. Love ya, but I ain't buying it. 

Next? You know who IS blue-collar? Ex NASCAR driver Mike Damn Skinner! (start around the 19-minute mark)

In ‘95 and ‘96, we had men. They don't have men anymore.

They have a lot of guys that are really high technical, their fitness program is impeccable now today, but they fall out of the seat way more than we probably did and it's insane that with all the tools they have in the toolbox, it's that hard.

But they're little guys, they're smaller guys. And we're finding out all the time that the smaller frame and the less weight you have and the shorter you are, you're like a jockey. Kyle Larson should win every race, right?

Objectively, Mike Skinner calling out tiny, Gen-Z NASCAR drivers, and comparing them to horse jockeys, is maybe the funniest thing I've ever heard. It's also spot-on. 

Tyler Reddick? Kyle Larson? William Byron? Christopher Bell? Horse jockeys! Thanks, Mikey. We need more men …

… like Alex Bowman!

His girlfriend, Chloe Henderson, takes us into the week, and to Iowa.