Browns Introduce All-Brown Helmets And Uniform Presented By, Wait For It, Dude Wipes

The Cleveland Browns don't get everything wrong. They have a very good coaching staff and personnel department and edge rusher Myles Garrett is one the NFL's best players. But then there's the other stuff that just makes people shake their heads, and we saw an example of that on Wednesday with the rollout of the team's alternate helmet and uniform.

The Browns call their alternate look,"Alpha Dawg." Yeah, whatever.

Cleveland Browns alternate uniform and helmet unveiled 7/23/25 (Cleveland Browns/Kennedy Rodgriguez)

Browns Uniform Presented By Dude Wipes

This season's alternate helmet is all brown (except for a couple of orange stripes) and it'll be worn with an all brown jersey.

The look is as indistinct as the usual Browns helmet which, coincidentally, is orange.

That's not the issue. This is: the Brown on brown look was unveiled with DUDE WIPES as the sponsor.

And the jokes write themselves.

The helmet the color of, well, poop and will look like a giant stool sample sitting on an NFL field is presented to you by Dude Wipes.

This is some genius level marketing right here.

The Browns will feature their poop-stain look during three home games this year, including Sept. 21 versus the Green Bay Packers, Oct. 19 versus the Miami Dolphins and Dec. 7 versus the Tennessee Titans. 

CLEVELAND, OHIO - DECEMBER 17: Joe Flacco #15 of the Cleveland Browns is introduced prior to a game against the Chicago Bears at Cleveland Browns Stadium on December 17, 2023 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Nick Cammett/Diamond Images via Getty Images)

Browns Uniform Jokes Write Themselves

It will mark the first time in the history of the organization that a brown helmet will be worn.  

And hopefully the last.

Dude Wipes are disposable (even flushable) wet napkins that anyone can use to wipe their assets – you know, hands, arms, legs, face, and nether regions.

(The flushing sound you hear is not me disposing of a used Dude Wipe, it's my journalism career going down the toilet). 

The Browns are taking this "Alpha Dawg presented by Dude Wipes" rollout quite seriously. They're legit excited and seemingly oblivious as to what message this sends about their all-brown uniforms.

"Alpha Dawg’ embodies what we set out to be as the Cleveland Browns, the leaders of the pack," said JW Johnson, Cleveland Browns Executive Vice President and Partner. "We’re excited about this new alternate helmet and the ode it pays to the rich history of the color brown as part of our organization, switching it up from our iconic orange helmets."

Nov 29, 2024; Kansas City, Missouri, USA; A general view of Las Vegas Raiders helmets against the Kansas City Chiefs prior to a game at GEHA Field at Arrowhead Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Denny Medley-Imagn Images

Browns Look Foward To Looking Like Poop

Iconic? 

The NFL has iconic helmets. The Cowboys' star. The Raiders' pirate. The Steelers, Chiefs, Colts, take your pick.

A Browns orange helmet with no logo is not it. And the Dude Wipes helmet is Alpha Dawg only in that it suggests the pooch is taking a bathroom break while on a walk.

"We look forward to the team wearing the all-brown helmet and uniform combination for the first time on September 21 at Huntington Bank Field and leaning into the ‘Alpha Dawg’ mentality throughout the 2025 season," Johnson insisted.

OK.