Week One of OutKick’s fantasy football league is in the books and tails are between legs and egos have exploded.
Rams and Bengals soiled plenty of Week One party pants (raises hand), and Andy Reid’s current and former team’s paved the way for a couple of 1-0 starts. Trey Wallace’s “Bag Men” team was one of those who started off in the win column, largely due to Patrick Mahomes – who led all players in points scored (46.90).
And now I have egg (along with spaghetti sauce, bread crumbs and who knows what else) on my face after I called out the Bag Men for reaching on Mahomes with the draft’s second overall pick.
For the record, that’s still a bad pick. And to borrow a line from Dan Dakich, owner of the 1-0 “Bald Is Beautiful” squad – Don’t @ Me!
Not The Only One Praising Mahomes
Trey’s Bag Men weren’t the only ones benefiting from Patrick Mahomes’ strong opening day. Twitter user @sexysportslover – who fashions herself a: Union Carpenter, Paramedic, Sports fanatic, Competitive eater, and Fantasy Football champion – was equally impressed.
Thanks for sharing!
Trades Winds Are Swirling Throughout OutKick
Just days after the first week of the season completed, Alejandro Avila was in search of wide receiver help for his team, “Flex Burkhead.” In an obvious sign of collusion and misuse of company time, he and Dan Zaksheske used a company-wide Zoom call to engage in trade talks. In the end, the first trade of OutKick’s fantasy football season took place.
Flex Burkhead gets 49ers WR Brandon Aiyuk and Dan Z welcomes RB James Robinson to the squad. Who got the better deal? Time will tell. But feel free to let us know in the comments. And while you’re there, don’t be afraid to curse either team for conducting their business during our Zoom call.
Also, Dan Z made the curious decision to change team names after the games have already been played. Gone is – “Editor Dan Z.” Zaksheske’s top-scoring team will now be known as “Danny Dollars.”
Arguably the most controversial name change since the Redskins opted to be called The Washington Football Team and then, the Commanders.
Is Dan Z, like Dan Snyder, hiding something? Probably.
If You’re Not First You’re Last
Seven teams opened the season with a victory, but OutKick founder Clay Travis‘ team Deshaun Watson’s New Masseuse wasn’t amongst them. His team was taken down by Bag Men and a big injury prevented the game from being closer (119.80 – 94.96). Clay’s QB is Dak Prescott and, well, we all know what happened to him Sunday.
Clay doesn’t like to lose — at anything. So he’s likely going to do whatever necessary to right the ship. And if not, he could be staring down a punishment (more on that in a minute).
Check out all the scores from last week’s games and this week’s transactions by following along here.
Donald Trumps Gets Involved
As I alluded to earlier, OutKick has decided to punish the owner who scores the least amount of points each week. Most leagues save the punishment and embarrassment for the end of the season, but not OutKick. I’m apparently occupying space with a bunch of sickos who just want to watch people suffer as often as possible.
And as fate would have it, yours truly (disappointed owner of Writers Block) came in dead f-ing last. Rams running back Cam Akers gifted me a Week One goose egg that I didn’t ask for and QB Matthew Stafford didn’t do much better. They largely dragged my team down to a lowly 83.70 points!
For that, I will be forced to partake in what is essentially the “Donald Trump challenge.” OutKick is letting the fans decide its weekly punishments and the Daily Caller’s Geoffrey Ingersoll came up with the winning suggestion:
What does the challenge consist of? Oh, just two McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish, two Big Macs and a chocolate shake….And they think this is punishment? Joke’s on them.
This is a treat so tasteful that it basically cured Trump of COVID. And if it’s good enough for The Donald, it’s good enough for me.
Follow OutKick’s Twitter feed: @outkick and check back here next week to see me dominate the “punishment.”
Prior to the punishment being handed down, OutKick’s Hayley Caronia hosted a fantasy recap with OutKick 360’s Jonathan Hutton (owner of Kardashians Backfield), David Hookstead (owner of Tier One Day Drinker), Dan Zaksheske (of the aforementioned Danny Dollars) and myself. Plenty of trash talk and potential punishments were discussed. We plan on doing this all season long with a rotating cast of OutKickers dishing on their teams, and their opponents.
Back To Football, Briefly
Before we formally move onto Week Two, here’s a quick list of the players added via the league’s waiver system. 49ers RB Jeff Wilson, Commanders QB Carson Wentz, Commanders WR Curtis Samuel, Pittsburgh’s D, Texan RB Rex Burkhead and Saints sometimes QB-turned-TE Taysom Hill. Will any make a difference? Who the hell knows? But they’ll likely all outscore Dak Prescott and Cam Akers from opening weekend.
Oh, and before I forget – since I mentioned last week that Clay and Armando failed to extend invites to their homes for the draft, I had to go searching for a central location. And I think I stumbled upon the perfect location. Everyone good with Phoenix?
Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF