At this pace, don’t be shocked if vagina ultimately bankrupts Nick Cannon.
The greatest modern-day cocksman is at it again with Tuesday’s announcement from OnlyFans model Abby De La Rosa — who is Nick’s baby mama to twin toddlers Zion & Zillion — that she is expecting another child with the Masked Singer host, who will now have 12 children on his resume.
Just last week it was announced Cannon was expecting baby No. 11 with Instagram model Alyssa Scott.
For those of you keeping track at home, Cannon’s baby-making resume is insane:
• (12) pregnancies
• Moroccan (girl) and Monroe (boy), twins, with Mariah Carey
• Sons Golden and Rise and daughter Powerful Queen with Brittany Bell
• Twin sons Zion and Zillion with Abby De La Rosa
• Son Legendary Love with Bre Tiesi
• Daughter Onyx Ice Cole with LaNisha Cole
• Cannon also had a son, Zen, with Alyssa Scott, who died in 2021 at five months old after a brain cancer battle
• Expecting No. 11 with Scott
• Expecting No. 12 with De La Rosa
The guy needs a personal assistant to keep the birthdays and gift-buying straight because there’s not a man on this planet capable of such a task.
Tuesday night, De La Rosa let it slip, via a meme, that her latest pregnancy is the product of Cannon’s fodder.
“1 night with a Libra can turn into 3-4 years 😮💨 be careful,” the meme read, to which the $19.99 OnlyFans model replied, “😂 damn! lol 1 night turned into 4 years and 3 kids real quick…I see no lies here smh. y’all be safe out there 😂.”
Cannon is a Libra.
How long until the baby mamas turn on Cannon?
Right now, it’s practically impossible to scroll through social media without seeing the TV host making time for his flock of baby mamas. He always seems to be there when the mamas need him the most — Halloween content shoots, pregnancy shoots, Disney trips, etc.
But this guy is 42 years old and on the hook for multiple(!) babies that will have him paying child support until he’s 60. Celebrity net worth sites have Nick Cannon worth somewhere between $20M-$70M. At those levels, the guy has the money to make this work, but let’s face it, if Cannon can’t slow his vagina habits, he’s going to run straight through a massive pile of cash to keep the baby mamas from taking him to court.
Does this guy have ironclad impregnation contracts with these women? I have no idea, but I’m all ears if Oprah does a sit-down with this cocksman.
“In December (2021), everyone saw I was so down (over the death of his son), everybody’s like I’m just going to give him a little vagina, that’s going to cure it all,” Cannon said this summer on the “Lip Service” podcast.
And here we are less than a year later and Cannon has fathered two babies born this year and has two more on the way.
How much does Nick Cannon pay in child support?
Let’s keep in mind Cannon is highly unlikely to pay child support to Mariah Carey for his twin children with the singer. A quick search of the California child support system reveals the state has a calculator for these matters and it goes up to 10 children.
For our hypothetical calculation, we’re using nine children; Cannon’s son Zen with Alyssa Scott died from brain cancer in 2021.
Using basic data — hypothetical $5,000,000 yearly salary for Cannon — it appears the gunslinger could face somewhere around $70,000 a month in child support, which is highly likely to be low. You could spend months figuring out how to add up all the baby mamas, the children and come up with a final number.
What’s clear here is that Cannon has his work cut out for him over the next 18 years.
Nick, you’ve tied Antonio Cromartie and George Foreman with 12 children. Your work here is done.