Kevin Harvick Retires, NASCAR Busch Light Queen Says 'Yes,' Kyle Busch Twerks, Blaney Goes Yellowstone With Hooters Girlfriend

The NFL playoffs began this past weekend, which can mean only one thing ... the NASCAR season is right around the corner!

Is that a depressed Miami Dolphins fan speaking? Sure. But, that doesn't change the fact that it's mid-January, and the Busch Light Clash is mere weeks away. And hey, we even get Wiz Khalifa doing the mid-race show!

No? That doesn't get the juices flowing? Oh well. I tried.

Anyway, we're getting to the very end of our offseason, but that doesn't mean we're there quite yet, baby! And hey, we actually had a pretty loaded week of NASCAR news for January!

Kevin Harvick is donezo after this upcoming season, calling it quits after over two decades of dominating the sport and scaring the piss out of me. Kevin may be tiny - all NASCAR guys not named Kyle Busch kind of are - but his death stare is second to none.

Elsewhere, Natalie Decker said "yes" to her longtime boyfriend and celebrated with a bottle of Busch Light like the queen she is, Alex Bowman is poor after an awful Chili Bowl week, the Busch family continues to crush the offseason, Ryan Blaney goes Yellowstone with his Hooters girlfriend, and Dale Earnhardt Sr. plays shortstop.

How about that for a damn tease?

Four tires, some fuel, a wedge adjustment and throw in a couple eggs if you have 'em (they ain't cheap, you know), Monday Morning Pit-Stop - the 'Cowboys, Beers & Baseball' Offseason edition - is LIVE!

Kevin Harvick bids farewell to NASCAR

Well, we all knew this was coming eventually, and tomorrow is finally here for Kevin Harvick. The longtime Cup star announced last week that he's retiring after this season, ending what is a sure-fire Hall of Fame career on and off the track.

Harvick burst onto the scene back in 2001 when had the unenviable task of replacing Dale Earnhardt after he died in the Daytona 500, but it was pretty clear after he won at Atlanta not three weeks later that he was more than up to it.

The 47-year-old enters what will be his 23rd Cup season with 60 wins and a championship back in 2014, and he will absolutely be a threat on his way out.

Personally, I'm going to miss angry Kevin Harvick the most - you know, the guy who nearly took Chase Elliott's head off two years ago at Bristol?

He's one of the few guys in the garage with the old school NASCAR mentality still in him, and you ain't replacing that ever again.

Give 'em hell this year, Kevin!

Natalie Decker gets engaged with Busch Light photoshoot

With Harvick stepping down after this season, the obvious question - at least for me - is what Busch Light does? The King of Beers (shut up, Budweiser) has sponsored Harvick for years now, and will need a suitable replacement after 2023.

I know she's not quite ready for Cup racing yet, but part-time Xfinity and Truck Series driver Natalie Decker appears to be throwing her hat in the ring.

And, speaking of rings ...

How about that damn photoshoot?! Forget the engagement, forget the love story, forget the fact that Natalie had an average finish of 31st in three Xfinity starts last year ...

Anyone who crushes bottled Busch Light is a stud in my book, and Natalie Decker is a damn stud.

Congrats to her and longtime boyfriend Derek Lemke on the engagement. And congrats to Busch Light for finding their heir apparent.

Alex Bowman in financial ruins after Chili Bowl disaster

Okeedokee ... back to the track!

The annual Chili Bowl wrapped up over the weekend after an intense - and sometimes scary - week of racing, and it apparently left poor Alex Bowman ... poor.

The Hendrick Motorsports driver got wrapped up in a billion wrecks throughout the week, and so did several of his cars. Frankly, it's not surprising given how intense those races are, and you almost just have to be more lucky than good.

Bowman, however, has never had a great relationship with Lady Luck.

"Destroyed everything in the trailer and then some" pretty much sums it up for Bowman, who's seen better days.

Anyway, he finished 17th in the D-Feature Saturday night, while former Oklahoma cheerleader Taylor Reimer took home 15th in the B-Feature. Not bad!

And yes, driver Ashton Torgerson was cleared to leave the hospital after his scary crash Tuesday night. You can read about it, and watch it here, but he made it out in one piece and even returned to the track a few days later looking like a STUD.

Samantha, Kyle Busch continues to be NASCAR content machines

On our way out, Part 1!

Can't let a few weeks go by without checking in on the Busch Family, who have been killing it this offseason.

I don't know why I never thought to follow Samantha Busch on Instagram before this season, but our girl is a machine on that site.

Kyle, if we're being honest, is pretty corny. BUT, it's not his fault. Husbands getting dragged into making Instagram reels and TikTok videos cannot be blamed for being terrible actors. They don't want to be there anymore than you or I want them there.

Anyway, in the past few weeks alone the two have hit up South Beach, done a little stretching, and, of course, a little twerking.

What an offseason.

Ryan Blaney and Hooters girlfriend go Yellowstone

On our way out, Part II!

From the veteran GOATS to the up-and-comers, let's check in on Ryan Blaney and Hooters girlfriend Gianna Tulio, who spent one of their last weekends off on a ranch in Montana.

OK, don't know if it was in Montana or not, but the two certainly gave off Rip and Beth vibes ... even if Blaney apparently - and very sadly - shaved the offseason beard he had working.

Dale Earnhardt Sr. vintage baseball picture

OK, on our way out Part III (last one, I promise).

Dale Jr. went on an absolute tweeting-spree last week and gave some much-needed nostalgia during these cold winter months.

And by nostalgia, I mean his daddy playing baseball in a scene straight out of Bad News Bears.

Unbelievable. Chills. I'm sorry, but it just doesn't get much better than that, folks.

OK, that's all from me. Think we covered just about everything, from Busch Lattes to Wrangler Jeans Dale fielding grounders.

You ain't finding any of that anywhere else today.

Take us home, Larry Mac!

Written by
Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.