Mariah Carey, Billy Bob Thornton, Elf And More OutKick Christmas Rankings!

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You haven’t worked in days, there’s a serious dent in your case of Christmas ales and the only non-football on the TV is Die Hard, a Christmas movie.

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year.

Since most of you have decided to channel your inner Bill Belichick and move “onto Cincinnati,” aka “onto 2023,” I’ve complied a list of pre, during and post-Christmas reading for your viewing pleasure.

This is an OutKick deep dive into all things Christmas that’s best consumed in one of three ways:

  1. On the porcelain throne
  2. In bed while nursing an eggnog hangover
  3. At the in-laws’ way too long Christmas dinner

Drum Roll, Please.

At this time last year, a trio of OutKickers that includes Alejandro Avila, Bobby Burack and myself determined the best movie Santas. We did the heavy lifting so you didn’t have to. We spent countless hours pouring over Christmas movies, while on the clock, in order to provide you with the best Kris Kringle’s in the movie business.

Unsurprisingly, Billy Bob Thornton (Bad Santa) didn’t last long in the draft’s green room.

We’ve Got Christmas Movies!

Everyone knows the most important December list is one that ranks Christmas movies one through ten. Not to mention, nothing stirs up holiday cheer (and arguments) quite like a list full of classics like Elf, Home Alone and a few curveballs.

So before you pop some kernels and suck back another few bourbons, check out this list of Christmas movies to consume in the 30 minutes before you pass out on the couch.

By the way, save your Bad Moms Christmas complaints for someone else. First and foremost, it’s sneaky good and passes the laugh test. Secondly and probably most importantly, there’s plenty of Mila Kunis. We’re not talking about a female leading role centered around Amy Schumer or Chelsea Handler here. This is Mila freakin Kunis.

’nuff said.

Don’t Overlook Mariah Carey This Christmas.

We round out our OutKick Christmas rankings by treating our ears with the respect they so deserve. Now grab the Q-tips, clean ’em out and fire up Napster!

That’s right – we’ve got Christmas songs on deck. But not just any random holiday tunes, we’re talking Sacramento Kings, Houston Texans, Pittsburgh Pirates territory. Some of you may more commonly refer to this territory as the “top 5.”

And don’t for a minute think overplayed Mariah Carey isn’t sitting within the list of five. Deny it all you want, but Mariah’s got a banger on her hands.

Mariah Carey, no doubt, secures a spot within OutKick’s rankings of best Christmas songs. (Photo by Gilbert Carrasquillo/FilmMagic).

Now go about your Christmas and enjoy the silent majesty of a winter’s morn. The clean, cool chill of the holiday air. And an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.

Merry Christmas.

Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF

Written by Anthony Farris

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