Man Who Transformed Himself Into Alien Has Trouble Getting Restaurant Tables

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Believe it or not, transforming yourself into an alien creature called the “Black Alien” might make it hard to get your preferred restaurant table.

Most of us don’t need to be told this, but for one French fella, this may have been news.

Anthony Loffredo has said adieu to everything from his lips to the tip of his nose to several fingers and tattooed practically every inch of himself in hopes of transforming himself into some kind of alien-like creature.

Loffredo says that he didn’t feel he belonged in his body, but now that he inhabits a body that looks like that of a background character in the Mos Eisley cantina, he says he feels more confident.

“You can’t judge someone. No one knows what’s inside someone’s head, why they’re doing that, you need to talk with this person,” he said, per LAD Bible.

I’ll talk to anyone. I just don’t know how I’d get the ball rolling with this guy.

Maybe I’d go the “Hey man, cool purple teeth” route.

Life As Black Alien Is Not Easy

“It’s a fight every day, because every day you find new people who don’t understand, who want to judge. It’s life, not everyone understands everything. Like me, I don’t understand lots of things about lots of people,” Loffredo said on a podcast last year.

Count me as someone who doesn’t get this one. From the sound of it, a lot of restaurants don’t get it either.

“If I want to eat at a restaurant, sometimes the server says I can’t eat on the terrace,” he said.

First of all, that is one ballsy server to tell the alien guy where he can and can’t sit. I’m not sure I could do that. He’d have the run of the place if I was working at that restaurant.

“Good afternoon Mr. Black Alien, sir… You’d like a table right in front of the restaurant?… Absolutely, that won’t horrify pedestrians in the least. Can I bring you anything to eat?… Mhm… Well, we don’t normally make grilled cheese sanwiches — seeing as this is a falafel restaurant — but if you want to do grilled cheese, a grilled cheese you shall have!…please don’t hurt me…”

To each their own. At least, the Black Alien isn’t going to make any more rash decisions in his quest to look like a Doctor Who villain.

Hang on… I’m being told he’s mulling over the prospect of amputating one of his legs.

“It’s something really hard because I have a healthy leg, and an amputation is something big,” he said about lopping off a leg.

Alright, so even Black Alien has something of a limit.

Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle

Written by Matt Reigle

Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.

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