Man Attempts To Sell Severed Penis At South African Mall, Fails

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It’s hard to get people to buy anything these days what with inflation and everything. That appears to be the case in South Africa too, because one enterprising mall salesman just couldn’t find a buyer for his wares.

Although it didn’t help that he was trying to sell a severed penis.

It happened last week at Fingoland Mal in Butterworth, South Africa. According to the Daily Mail, the man was grabbed by fellow mall-goers when he brandished the member and tried to find a buyer. No one at that particular mall was in the market for one, loose penis so they called the cops who promptly arrested the 32-year-old.

Police believe the appendage he attempted to sell has been removed from a 68-year-old man,

Now, the problem was most definitely what he was trying to sell, but he didn’t do himself any favors with his sales tactics either.

Mall Salespeople Can Be Brutal, But This Guy Is The Worst One Ever

I can’t stand pushy mall salespeople. There are few things worse than having people at kiosks constantly coming up to me to sell me things.

No, I don’t want to see your cell phone cases, bootleg Funko Pop figures, or miracle lotion that is supposed to make your skin look like you just tumbled out of the womb.

Leave me alone. I have a Cinnabon to purchase.

Think how terrible that is. Now replace the cell phone cases, bootleg Funko Pop, or miracle lotion with a severed penis.

That wouldn’t be cool at all.

The unnamed suspect made a court appearance on April 24 and has been charged with “unlawful possession of human tissue.”

I’m far from an expert on the South African legal system (though I do dabble). Having said that, I think that charge might stick.

The suspect’s case has been transferred to a higher court, and he remains in a hospital with his condition unknown.

Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle

Written by Matt Reigle

Matt is a University of Central Florida graduate and a long-suffering Philadelphia Flyers fan living in Orlando, Florida. He can usually be heard playing guitar, shoe-horning obscure quotes from The Simpsons into conversations, or giving dissertations to captive audiences on why Iron Maiden is the greatest band of all time.

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