Kyle Busch Has Two Wives, NASCAR Driver Accused Of Starting An OF & New TV Deal Could Spell Big Trouble For Old Fans
Now that pesky Thanksgiving is behind us, we can finally focus on the real holiday coming up ... the NASCAR end-of-year banquet!
While some of you are out shopping for Christmas gifts and Cyber Monday deals -- which really lasts until like Thursday so that holiday really is a sham -- I'm here counting down the days until we get to break down the best outfits and hottest WAGs on the NASCAR red carpet.
We still have a few days left, though, so I'm gonna have to stall a bit longer. Not to worry! We have a plenty to talk about on this NASCAR offseason Monday. Oh, you don't believe me?
Instagram husband/NASCAR champ Kyle Busch has two wives. How's that for a teaser?
Harrison Burton's girlfriend, Jenna Petty, just graduated from dance school and is now a professional dancer. Strike two!
What else? Remember Carl Edwards? Some think he's a dick apparently, so we'll dive in.
We also have the best radio moments from this past season as voted on by the fans, and I think we'll check in with Natalie Decker because the NASCAR community keeps getting angry that she's posting thirst traps on Instagram and I don't really understand what's become of this country at this point.
Such a shame. We'll defend Natalie today because it's the right thing to do. Is she moving to OnlyFans? Maybe. Maybe not. None of your business, losers!
Four tires, enough fuel for both of Kyle's wives and maybe a Xanax for the angry mob on Nat's social media ... Monday Morning Pit-Stop -- the 'There's Not Much Going On So We're Gonna Make Chicken Salad Out Of Chicken Sh*t' edition -- is LIVE!
Let's start out with the best NASCAR radio moment from 2023
We'll ease everyone into this post-Thanksgiving Monday because I know we're all equally struggling today.
The Monday after a holiday -- any holiday, really -- is truly awful. You spent all last week halfway working because it was Thanksgiving week and nobody really gave a crap, and then you took Thursday and Friday off.
That means you've pretty much been off work for over a week at this point and now you're just thrust back into the fire after days and days of drinking.
What a terrible day. It's also miserably cold here in Florida, which means is must be miserably cold across the rest of the country, too. A lot going against us today, which is why we're gonna lean on Brad Keselowski doing donuts in the middle of a red flag at Daytona to get us through it:
Kyle Busch: NASCAR champ, Instagram husband
Alex Bowman is 100% right, by the way. Brad Keselowski actually put Twitter on the map about a decade ago, for those who don't remember. True story.
He famously sent a tweet from the cockpit of his car at the Daytona 500 during a red flag cleanup, and the world went NUTS.
It may not seem like a lot by today's standards, but the metrics on that tweet from 2012 were out of this world. Everyone loved it.
So, yes, Bowman, I 100% think we should bring phones back into the cars. Why not? What's the harm? You think these guys are gonna be firing off texts during the race? So what! That would be awesome and just add another layer to the race.
I guarantee you (Raise Hell, Praise) Dale Sr. would've been able to pull it off.
RIP.
Anyway, back to Kyle Busch ... he's a NASCAR driver for the first 36 weeks of the year and an Instagram husband to MMPS GOAT Sam Busch the rest of the time.
And, right on cue, our man is BACK in the saddle three weeks into the offseason. Two Wife Kyle Busch!
Natalie Decker is under fire for being too OnlyFans-ish on Instagram
Hey, Sam! I said it was cold in Florida today. Stop teasing us! Give 'em hell, Kyle Busch!
From one Instagram star to another, let's check in on Natalie Decker -- the ARCA/Trucks/Xfinity Series driver who is sponsored by Busch Light and Cracker Jacks, and has a social media page that'll leaving you wanting more.
(That's a loose play on the Cracker Jacks slogan, for those who don't know. Didn't see that coming today, did you?).
And by that, I mean Queen Nat has been a little more loosey-goosey with the posts as of late and some of the angry dads who follower her think it's a sign of things to come:
Is Carl Edwards a dick?
Look, if Natalie Decker wants to be like all the other mega-rich influencers out there today and start an OnlyFans, so what? Have you seen the prices in Joe's economy? A package of blueberries cost me like $20 last week.
If I looked like Natalie, I'd consider it, too.
And by the way, she has. Don't know if it ever came to fruition, but I know it's been discussed as recently as earlier this year because she said so on one of her TikToks. I've obviously kept tabs on it like the OJ trial because a "NASCAR driver starts OnlyFans" headline would probably do well. Just a hunch.
Anyway, if you're complaining about the amount of skin in a workout selfie, you're a loser. Grow up and don't ruin it for the rest of us.
Moving on ...
This little Reddit question was posted over the weekend and I found it fascinating:
Jenna Petty, Kyle Larson and NASCAR TV deal
Does that seems like someone who's a dick? I don't think so. I've admittedly never met Carl, so I guess I don't know for sure, but I'd be surprised if he was actually a dick.
Also ... if suck-muhballs' two stories are true, and they seem pretty realistic, then I think it's safe to say Cousin Carl is officially NOT in the dick category.
Thanks for sharing, Suck!
OK, let's put the pedal down on this Next Gen Chevy and get on out of here so we can go back to being depressed today.
Kyle Larson is NOT an Instagram husband during the offseason, mainly because he doesn't have one.
Kyle races every day, all day, 365 days out of the year.
Exhibit A:
Nothing says Kyle Larson quite like winning something called the Turkey Night GP. Legend. This guy is such a machine.
Next up? Hope you've got the whole streaming thing down at this point, because it sounds like you're gonna need it the near NASCAR future:
Be honest ... did you know Bleacher Report was still around? I certainly didn't. What a throwback. So on brand for NASCAR to partner with Bleacher Report in 2023. Hilarious.
Anyway, if that happens, it'll means less races for FOX and NBC, which is a bummer. Mainly the FOX part. Love Mike Joy. We'll see.
From Adam:
NASCAR has been in the market to sell its media rights, starting with the 2025 season, for the better part of the year. Incumbent broadcasters Fox and NBC agreed to renew their packages months ago, though nothing has been announced formally.
A midseason package of races has proved harder to sell. Originally, NASCAR planned to carve out a six-race package. But now it’s shopping a package that includes as many as 10 races in the hopes that the added races will entice new bidders to close the deal. NASCAR created the midseason package with races currently carried by Fox and NBC, meaning those two broadcasters will have less inventory in the next deals.
Finally, take us home Jenna Petty (and Larry Mac!) -- and congrats on the big graduation!