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What a night of college football! Well, unless you’re a Florida Gators fan. God, we’re awful. Scratch that. They’re awful. I ain’t associating myself with those bums until further notice. Maybe if they all hit the gym a little more like influencer Katie Sigmond they’d be just a little more disciplined?
Just a thought. Clock is ticking, Billy Napier. Tick tock, big guy.
Whew. What a way to start a Friday! Talk about coming out of the gates FIRING. I’m ready to roll because the calendar now reads September, we’ve got low-70s on the docket this weekend in Florida and college football is back.
It doesn’t get much better than this, boys and girls. Gus Johnson blowing out my speakers and Minnesota beating Nebraska 13-10 in the most Big Ten game ever?
Yes, please! Inject it straight into my veins.
We’re gonna jump straight in today because we have a lot to get to and we’re all itching to just mail it the hell in. I get it, so I’ll get us there.
Katie Sigmond — a relative newcomer around here — will make her Nightcaps debut. You’ll see why. We’re also going to do a little gambling, complain some more about THE Florida Gators, look back on one of the greatest college football upsets of all time and maybe wish Elena Arenas a happy 22nd.
Sound good? Good!
Grab anything but a Bud Light and pay attention, because I ain’t repeating myself today.
Katie Sigmond limbers up in a sauna
You know the drill — we get right to it today. No making you wait for the only reason you clicked.
Golf influencer Katie Sigmond — you know, the one who launched a golf ball into the Grand Canyon last year and nearly got locked away forever — capped her huge summer with some sauna lunges.
Seems like an odd place to work out, but I also haven’t worked out in two years and back when I did, it was for a D3 program. We weren’t exactly living in the gym.
Anyway, Sigmond spent her summer partying with Olivia Dunne, covering herself with icing for her birthday and hitting absolute tanks off the tee.
Her social media following is now reaching ridiculous levels — over 3 million on Mark Zuckerberg’s woke Instagram — which means it’s probably time to introduce her to Nightcaps.
Welcome to the Thunder Dome, Kate Sigmond!
Are the Florida Gators the worst team in FBS?
What a debut for Katie Sigmond! I haven’t seen a pilot episode that good since Breaking Bad.
Now, let’s get to the Gators.
No, I don’t actually think they are the worst team in college football, but it’s probably a question worth asking. At what point does Billy Napier get fired? Serious question.
I know he’s only been there a year now, but sometimes you just have a feeling about something, and I don’t have any good ones about this program right now.
These Florida Gators — at least in my lifetime — have ALWAYS been one of the most undisciplined teams in the country dating back to the Urban Meyer years, but at least they made up for it with unreal talent.
They always just found a way to overcome the dumb penalties with insane plays from Percy Harvin or Kadarius Toney or Kyle Pitts or some guy named Tebow.
Here’s the problem now: they’re equally as stupid as they’ve always been but they don’t have near the talent to mask it.
What does that get you? Well, let’s ask this cat!
Happy anniversary, Michigan-App State!
Iconic interview right there. What a way to start the season! I lost count of all the cuss words, but it was HOF stuff.
The screen on fourth down was spot on. I was watching and was legit baffled by Billy’s plan there. Even if he caught it, where the hell was he gonna go? Even Herbie was dumbfounded in the booth.
Looking at the schedule, Florida is guaranteed to lose at least four more games this season EASILY, and that’s being ultra-conservative. The slate next year is an absolute bloodbath.
Zero shot Billy sees 2025. Hell, he may not see Georgia in a few months.
Whatever happens, he’ll NEVER feel what Lloyd Carr felt on this day 16 years ago. Credit to Joe Kinsey for the reminder on Twitter this morning:
I finally had a good night gambling on college football
Man, what a time that was. Look it up — 2007 was an insane year for college football.
It was Nick Saban’s first year at Alabama, for starters. First year! The Tide went 7-6.
Jim Harbaugh and Stanford went into No. 1 USC as 42-point underdogs … and won.
Notre Dame lost to Navy in 3OT to snap a 43-year winning streak.
Colt Brennan and Hawaii went 12-0!
This was also the year USF somehow was ranked No. 2 at one point.
No. 1 and No. 2 loss on the same weekend THREE DIFFERENT TIMES!
LSU was a two-loss national champion.
OK — back to 2023. I rebounded last night after going a cool 0 for 3 last weekend. I needed a win and did a three-team parlay with a teaser to boot just to be safe.
UF-Utah under 50, UCONN +21.5 & Nebraska +14.5. Like I said, never a sweat and I grabbed back half the money I lost from last weekend. Good start to Week 1!
Games I’m dabbling in this weekend include the Canes -16.5 tonight and TCU -20.5 tomorrow. Miami was AWFUL last year but they get TVD back tonight against a team that was talking trash last weekend. Seems like a good way to set the tone. Betting UM is probably dumb and I’ll surely regret it, but we’ll see.
The last time TCU played they lost by 100 in the national title game to fourth stringers and now they get Deion Sanders at home in his first game at Colorado? Oh baby, yes.
FSU getting two against LSU Sunday night is juicy, too.
For those who want actual good advice, here’s Clay’s picks. Get rich, kids!
Electric Missouri hype video, UCONN nails trick play & Elena Arenas turns 22
OK, it’s time to use that money I made last night to fill up my gas tank half-full in Biden’s economy so we can kick it into high gear and head into the weekend.
First up? Let’s check in with the folks over in Missouri, who released an ELECTRIC hype video for their home-opener last night against South Dakota:
“Our kicking unit is on the hunt like sharks.”
“Put those fists up, it’s our chance to unify Faurot Field.”
Good God that was bad. Truly, truly awful. Beyond the smokeshow who made a couple cameos it was unwatchable. But hey, I’m a Florida Gators fan, so who am I to talk?
Next up: UCONN!
Wonder what Missouri’s rules are for when two players on the same team murder each other? It’s early, but we now have the 2023 bar for embarrassing plays.
Let’s try to top it this weekend and really get this new year off to a big start!
Finally, here’s Livvy’s LSU teammate, Elena Arenas, celebrating 22 in style and taking us into a huge Labor Day weekend.
Welcome back, college football.
Let’s go have one.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Did your birthday picture look like Katie Sigmond? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.