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Hollywood finds itself in the grips of a massive salad dressing drama. Observers believe Jason Sudeikis’ ex-girlfriend Keeley Hazell took a massive swing at the actor’s ex-fiancee, Olivia Wilde, by reposting a salad dressing recipe that has the pop culture world losing its mind.
In what shouldn’t come as a big surprise, Hollywood types are absolutely insane. It’s been confirmed by this salad dressing drama.
This all started Tuesday night when Wilde posted a vinaigrette recipe on Instagram, via a passage from the book Heartburn, which has an entire plotline.
Stick with me here.
The recipe, observers believe, was allegedly the answer to the “special salad dressing” that Wilde, 38, prepared for her current boyfriend, Harry Styles, which caused Sudeikis, 47, to throw himself under her car to prevent her from delivering the salad dressing to Styles. OutKick’s Matt Reigle covered this bizarre story and shares the details of how this all went down.
It’s pure Hollywood madness.
Now Hazell, 36, has interjected herself in the story.
On Instagram Story, Hazell shared the same exact salad dressing passage that Wilde shared Tuesday, but Hazell had editorial comments attached to her Story.
“‘Why do you feel you have to turn everything into a story?’” the passage reads with Hazell underlining the sentence for emphasis.
Hazell wasn’t done with her emphasizing.
“So I told her why: Because if I tell the story, I control the version,” Hazell emphasized from Heartburn.
“Because if I tell the story, I can make you laugh, and I would rather have you laugh at me than feel sorry for me. Because if I tell the story, it doesn’t hurt as much. Because if I tell the story, I can get on with it.”
What’s it all mean? You make the call.
Most likely this is Hazell emphasizing that Wilde thrives on the drama and she can’t stand her. You don’t re-post book passages with emphasis unless this is war. These B-listers and A-listers have a code. Yes, it takes time to figure out what the hell is going on, but one thing is certain, it’s ALWAYS DRAMA.
Let’s face it, all these people are nuts. Hazell’s nuts. Of course, Sudeikis and Wilde are nutjobs. All of these people deserve each other and that’s why they keep dating each other. Hazell is a product of the UK’s famous Page 3 and lad mags like Loaded, Nuts and Zoo Weekly.
She makes money by staying in the tabloid headlines, hence the perceived shot at Olivia’s salad dressing.
Now Hazell controls the narrative and is available to sell a story of her own, if the tabloids will pay up. Just watch how this works.
How to make the Olivia Wilde salad dressing that drove Jason Sudeikis crazy
“Mix two tablespoons Grey Poupon mustard with two tablespoons good red wine vinegar. Then, whisking constantly with a fork, slowly add six tablespoons olive oil, until the vinaigrette is thick and creamy. This makes a very strong vinaigrette that is perfect for salad greens like arugula and watercress and endive.”
What does this all mean in the long-range forecast of pop culture?
It means you’re going to get Olivia Wilde salad-dressing memes for the foreseeable future. People will forever associate Sudeikis and Wilde to that salad dressing and throwing himself under the car to prevent her from delivering it to Harry Styles.