Illinois football coach Bret Bielema should stop trying to be funny.
While the Fighting Illini are an impressive 4-1 after dominating Wisconsin 34-10 on the road, Bielema committed the one crime that you just can’t shake: the crime of being cringe.
When talking about his defense, which held the Badgers to a grand total of two rushing yards and is giving up fewer than eight points a game on average, the former Wisconsin coach decided to bust out an example that was simply absurd.
“It’s like our kids are Golden Corral 24/7. They just want to eat,” Bielema claimed, according to Bret Beherns.
Bret Bielema needs to chill.
Puke. So cringe that my skin is crawling and my stomach is legit uncomfortable. You need to have some serious swag and confidence if you want to drop a line about people just wanting “to eat” in reference to sports.
Bielema might have some confidence with Illinois rolling 4-1, but swag? Absolutely not. Not even close.
Bret Bielema is a lot of things. He’s a solid football coach (at least in the Big Ten), he knows how to build a ground and pound team and he’s won a lot of games.
If there’s one thing he’s definitely not, it’s a person cool enough to try to drop quotes like this. If Mike Leach or Lane Kiffin had dropped a line about their players feasting at a buffet, it’d be one thing. Those guys could pull it off.
Bielema? I think not.
Of course, I really don’t have any room to speak because Bret Bielema took his team on the road, and whooped Wisconsin so badly the Badgers fired Paul Chryst. Still, let’s chill on trying to drop funny quotes. He just doesn’t have that kind of dog in him.