Hillary Trubisky Tests Out Birthday Bikini, Electric Little League Stance, Tua-Ryan Clark Fight Odds & Grade The Fantasy Draft
I'm fresh off a two-hour fantasy football auction draft that I did from start to finish at 9:45 last night while sitting on my new back deck with the Red Sox-Astros game on my new back deck TV.
How was YOUR Wednesday night?
No shot you're topping that.
Nothing like that first fantasy football draft of the year. So much anticipation, so much consternation, so many drunken bids put in when you're 90 minutes deep and just wanna get the hell out of there.
It's the best. Pure anarchy. Fall is here, baby -- despite what Joe Kinsey tries to brainwash you all into thinking.
OK, it's not here yet. But, the first Saturday of September is the turning point here at Nightcaps, so for those who don't want to wait until Sept. 23, feel free to join me.
Welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps! We've got the final batch of preseason games starting tonight, we've got Navy-Notre Dame from Dublin in 48 hours, I've got a NASCAR race down here in a few days.
Life is good, and it only gets better from here on out.
We're gonna get to Mitch's wife, Hillary Trubisky, here in a bit. She deserves some shine and we're gonna do right by her. It's only fair.
Anyone see this WILD little league stance from a few days ago? It's electric. Feel like we need to break it down.
I'd also like to have you grade my fantasy team from last night, make fun of these new Bud Light NFL cans, and maybe go over my Mount Rushmore of pies on National Peach Pie Day. Seems like something we'd discuss.
Strap in -- we're letting it RIP today.
Grade my fantasy football team
As I said, I spent two hours doing a fantasy football auction draft last night. Ever done one? They're the best. Not sure I'd go as far to say they're better than the snake format, but it's close.
This is the league I won two years ago. Last year was a mess. Cooper Kupp was one of my keepers and obviously got hurt. JK Dobbins screwed me. I think by the end of the year I made a "win-now" trade and offloaded Kupp for a couple mid-level RBs just to make the playoffs and then ended up losing in the second round.
Whatever. It's tough to repeat.
Anyway, I kept Jaylen Waddle and JK Dobbins -- both at $25 -- and off we went. This league is all about the offense. Two RBs, Three WRs, Two more flex positions. You need to have some serious depth to win, which is what I lacked last year.
So, I tried to focus a little more on that last night and less on the big name players. I think the most I spent was $43 on Devonta Smith.
I'm pretty happy with it, although relying on Cam Akers and Dobbins to carry their late-season momentum from last year into this year makes me a little queasy.
Let me have it. We don't grade on a curve around here, so if it sucks, let me know.
Hillary Trubisky wishes Mitch Trubisky happy birthday from the boat
Obviously those last four bottom-feeders were the aforementioned let's just get the hell out of here picks. I didn't even know who Rashee Rice was before I picked him, and, frankly, I still don't. If I'm gonna throw a dart, it may as well be at someone who has Pat Mahomes slinging him the ball.
Anyway, I wanted Amari Cooper for that final flex spot but got outbid by $1, so I had to go back to the Tyler Lockett well. Not great, not terrible. He's the very definition of a blue-collar fantasy football player.
I also didn't take Diontae Johnson in one mock draft this summer. Didn't even consider him. So, naturally, I snagged him last night. Felt like good value ($23) to pass up. This is a PPR league and he's a target machine.
James Conner will certainly be fighting for a starting spot over the final few weeks of my camp, too. Touchdown or bust guy, but he'll get the touches. We'll see.
JUST KIDDING!
Right on cue -- as I'm writing this -- JP checks in with this little heartbreaker:
Welcome to the show, James Conner! Unreal. This is why I despise pre-September fantasy football drafts. What a gut-punch. Frankly, it's my own fault for drafting anyone associated with Russell Wilson.
Save us, Hillary Trubisky.
How about this little league stance?
And just like that, we're alive again, baby! Thanks, Hillary Trubisky. I've always liked Mitch, by the way. Remember that one time he led the Bears to the playoffs? Wild year. Great game, too.
Enough football for now. Let's now head out to Williamsport and check in with my new favorite player.
Tua vs. Ryan Clark betting odds
Love this move. Zig when they zag. That's the Nightcaps way and this kid gets it. Look, you're down 1-0 with an inning left to play. Backs against the wall. Game on the line. Bases juiced. You need to get that duck across the pond, by any means necessary.
I was a big fan of crowding the dish during this situation back in my D3 days. I got hit so much it's a wonder I never broke a bone. I'll be damned if I was gonna duck, though. Go ahead, plunk me. Free ribeye steak for me.
(That's RBI, by the way).
Anyway, this cat takes a different approach, and it should've paid off. That's a ball all day. Bad call by the ump. Thing goes a mile over his head. Impossible to hit.
I'd take this kid on my team any day of the week.
I'd also take Tua Tagovailoa, who the betting public things would kick Ryan Clark's ass in a fight.
That's #MyQB1.
Bud Light cans, peach pie and it's #MugshotSZN
I stuffed Ryan Clark in a locker yesterday, so I won't rehash it. Feel free to read it here.
I'd lay big time money for this fight, though. Give me Tua all damn day. You don't simply call someone a fat stripper and get away with it. Nope. It would be a bloodbath.
Clark, by the way, issued a 2-minute apology via Twitter (X?) today that looked like a hostage video. Hilarious.
Tuanon is the best. Sick Pivot shirt, bro. We get it, you have a podcast.
Yeah, whatever. Don't apologize, big guy. We don't bend the knee here. Don't believe in it. You called him a fat stripper and laughed about it. Don't back down now. Too late.
OK, here's the new Bud Light cans to kick off our lightning round portion of today's class:
You gonna go buy Bud Light now? That do anything for you? Also, what's with the AI players? Seriously, those look like the ones you create on Madden.
Hell, Dylan Mulvaney got an actual picture! You can't at least do the same for Joe Burrow?
Yuengling would never.
OK, it's National Peach Pie Day. Good pie, but obviously not the best. Not even close.
Nothing better than a Chicken Pot Pie on a crisp fall evening. I'm getting chills just thinking about it. The crust on a chicken pot pie is absolutely elite. Nothing like it. I'd bathe in the stuff if I could.
Guarantee you Rudy Giuliani is a HUGE CPP guy. This looks like a man who knows his damn pie:
Cavinder Twins team up with A-Rod's ex to take us home
Electric mug shot here from Rudy. I know the world is on the edge of their seats right now waiting for Trump's, but we should appreciate this one, too.
What a wild time we live in. Imagine showing someone this after 9/11? Rudy was a cult hero then. I remember it vividly.
Politics are truly the worst.
Here are the Cavinder Twins teaming up with A-Rod's ex, fitness model Kathryne Padgett, to take us into Thursday night.
Let's go have one.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
You going to war with Hillary Trubisky? I am. Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.