Happy Birthday, You're Fired! Cleveland Browns Cut Player Hours After Wishing Him Happy Birthday

For all of us -- myself included -- who complain about birthdays, it's time to shut up and thank our lucky stars we don't play for the Cleveland Browns.

Offensive Lineman Michael Dunn -- a journeyman fella who turned 29 today -- was cut by the Browns this afternoon.

Honestly, that in itself ain't a story. Journeyman linemen get cut like I go through tins of Copenhagen, especially this time of year. Dunn will probably find his way to another team before dinner.

All that being said, the timing still wasn't great, and pretty much confirmed the GM and the marketing team over in Cleveland are NOT on the same page.

What a parting gift from the Cleveland Browns to Michael Dunn

Less than three hours apart! Talk about an emotional rollercoaster for our birthday boy.

It's cutdown day/week around the NFL, and it's a bloodbath. Speaking from experience -- and by that I mean years of watching Hard Knocks -- all the fringe players in the league just sit around praying their phones don't ring.

Bring in your playbook.

I'd imagine Michael Dunn was one of those guys. So here he is, sitting around the breakfast table this morning with butterflies in his stomach, and he pops up the site formerly known as Twitter and sees the first tweet.

When you see that, you HAVE to assume you're probably safe, right?

I know they say no news is good news, but that type of news is GREAT news on cutdown day. Oh, they just wished me a happy birthday? I'm in. I made the 53. Why in the world would they put in the time and effort to make that little graphic for a player they're gonna cut?

No team would be that wasteful, right?

WRONG! The Cleveland Browns ain't just any team, Mike.

Bam, two hours later and you get the call. What a gut-punch.

"Happy birthday, Mike. You're cut. Pack your bags. Good luck out there, especially in Joe's economy."

What a twist.