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Yeah being an All-American is cool but being named to the All-Sauce Team is an even more exclusive club.
New York Jets cornerback Sauce Gardner and Buffalo Wild Wings have announced the eight players named to the inaugural All-Sauce team.
The criteria is simple: have a name even tangentially related to sauce of some kind. They then represent that corresponding sauce in the Buffalo Wild Wings roster of sauces.
While it’s not made up of a full 11 players, the inaugural All-Sauce team is full of some heavy hitters representing every manner of sauce.
Let’s take a look at who was honored this year…
Breaking Down The All-Sauce Team
Michigan State Spartans long-snapper Hank Pepper starts us off and reps Lemon Pepper. Fitting that a long-snapper — a position often overlooked, yet undeniably important — reps an accessible sauce that provides flavor, but won’t necessarily scare off the spice-averse.
Next, we’ve got Arizona wideout Boobie Curry honoring Thai curry sauce. That’s a strong, in-your-face flavor, befitting of a man who goes by an in-your-face name like “Boobie.”
The Edward Waters Tigers have a representative on the All-Sauce team. Running back Gregory Mango reps Mango Habenero sauce. Mango is a soft-spoken guy (at least from the 4-and-a-half seconds I heard him speak) but brings the heat on the gridiron. Sounds like a match made in heaven for Mango Habenero sauce. It’s a sauce that lulls you into a false sense of security with the promise of tropical mango sweetness, only to sucker-punch you in the kisser with some unbridled Scoville units.
Wide receiver Albert Lemon of Southwest Minnesota State brings puts the Lemon in Lemon Pepper, making that sauce arguably the most versatile out there.
Hot Rod Fitten, an edge rusher out of South Carolina made the team, repping buffalo sauce. A perfect pairing. A sauce that gets after you if you’re not careful, i.e. properly blocking with some blue cheese (this is controversial, but if you’re older than 12 it’s time to hang up the ranch and go for blue cheese).
For the heat-averse who still like to drown a chicken wing in sauce, Iowa State Cyclones lineman Dodge Sauser is your man. Garlic parm is the everyman’s sauce, it packs flavor but keeps you safe if it does its job right. Sounds like an offensive lineman, huh?
If you suffer from acid reflux steer clear of LSU DB Major Burns. As the name implies, he’s the face of the unholy Blazin’ Carolina Reaper sauce. Like the sauce, if you’re a quarterback going up against Major Burns, don’t even try it. Unless you want to get burned (and embarrassed in front of your girlfriend).
And lastly, but certainly not leastly, we have Florida State’s Thai Chiaokhiao-Bowman. The wideout (which by the way, this team is loaded at wideout) puts the “Thai” in Thai curry sauce. Between Chiaokhiao-Bowman and Boobie Curry, Thai curry sauce has proved to be a boon for the All-Sauce tea’s passing game.
Congratulations to those gentlemen. In addition to making the team — an honor in itself — each one also signed an NIL deal with Buffalo Wild Wings.
Follow on Twitter: @Matt_Reigle