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Ex-NFL Star Offers Arch Manning High-Paying Gig

Arch Manning’s choice of college has been the most bantered about sports decision since LeBron James’, well, decision. As the prep phenom works to narrow his choice between a quartet of SEC schools and a Big 12 blue blood, a former pro is pitching Manning on the idea of joining an ACC school with some unique benefits.

Eleven-year NFL vet Chris Long alluded to his alma mater, Virginia, when he said on the Green Light podcast: “Arch Manning, if you’re listening, we want you to come to Charlottesville, man.”

Rather than pitch Manning on the Cavaliers’ offense or the nightlife in Charlottesville, Long took a different approach:

“Like, first off, like, you will definitely be able to walk around here and not get bothered. We offer you unlimited access to Studio J. All the Spindrifts in the fridge. Any time.”

I can’t speak for Manning, but the Spindrifts alone would make Virginia a contender for me.

And screw that NIL money. Long’s got a quick way for Manning to scoop up some bucks to fund those late nights in Charlottesville.

“You can babysit my kids as well,” Long added. “That was on my list of promises. A hundred bucks an hour, dude. I’ll do $500 an hour.”

That’s SEC-type money we’re talking about — just to toss some mac-n-cheese in the microwave and push play on Paw Patrol. If Manning doesn’t want the gig, I’d like to loosen up my howitzer and apply for the position.

Since Long is unlikely to ever consider my resume, I refer back to Long, whose get-Manning-to-Virginia sales pitch includes even more perks.

“I will drink beer with your dad when he comes in town because I know your dad. I like Cooper a lot,” said Long. “I will be your running back that picks up the blitz. Like when your dad comes into town and he wants to drink beer and you want to go out with your friends, and like, ‘Hey, dad, I’m hanging out with girls tonight.’ Like, I will fall on that grenade. Like, I will hang with Cooper and drink beer.”

Try and beat that, Bama.

Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF

Written by Anthony Farris

Anthony is a former high school basketball intramural champion who played a leading role in creating two offspring. He spends his weekends hoping for an MTV Rock N' Jock revival.

Follow him on twitter @OhioAF

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