Woman Arrested After Getting Narced On By Her Meth Pipe-Wielding Pet Raccoon

Raccoons don't make great pets. Not because they're wild animals, but because they're total narcs, maaaaaaaan, and a woman in Ohio learned this the hard way.

As our own Joe Kinsey noted in Screencaps, if you didn't know any better, you'd think that this story had Florida written all over it, but, nope, this one comes to us from the great state of Ohio.

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According to the Springfield Township Police Department's Facebook page, Police Officer Austin Branham pulled over a car because the registered owner had the double whammy of an active warrant and a suspended license.

The driver was 55-year-old Victoria Vidal, and she was taken into custody without incident, but it was when Officer Branham returned to the car after the initial stop that things went from bad to worse for Vidal.

The officer saw a raccoon named Chewy sitting in the front seat of the car holding — because remember, raccoons have creepy little people hands and can hold things — a glass meth pipe.

Now, I've seen many episodes of Cops in my day, and the standard playbook in this instance, when one gets arrested and someone else in the car is found to have illicit drug paraphernalia on them, is to deny, deny, deny, and claim ignorance.

That doesn't work if the one found in possession of a meth pipe is a member of the rodent family.

A further search of Vidal's car revealed a bulk amount of methamphetamine, crack cocaine, and a hat-trick of three used glass meth pipes, and she was charged with possession of drugs, three counts of possession of drug paraphernalia, and was cited for driving under suspension with other charges pending lab results.

Fortunately, Chewy — who I think deserves to be named an honorary patrolman, but that's just me — came out of this a-okay.