Waymo Is Bringing Driverless Cars To NYC... Only With Drivers

Driverless car company Waymo has been on fire lately — and I mean that in every conceivable sense of the word — and as such, the company is looking to expand into new markets, including one of the biggest on the planet, New York City.

Only, at least at the start, they'll have drivers.

According to Reuters, Waymo — which is owned by Google parent company Alphabet — has applied for a permit with the New York City Department of Transportation to operate autonomously in the city, but with what is being described as a "trained specialist" behind the wheel.

However, until that gets approved, the cars will operate with someone manually driving them.

Now, I get why a lot of cities have rules in place against autonomous vehicles. They make me kind of nervous, too, and one of Waymo's plans is to push for those rules to change, and I get that a big part of that will be having a presence in town.

But I have no idea why anyone would call up a Waymo with some dude driving it or even just sitting behind the wheel, making sure the car doesn't go careening down a set of subway steps, because that defeats the purpose of a driverless car.

If you call up a Waymo in New York City anytime soon, prepare to be disappointed when it shows up with some guy behind the wheel. (Photo by Patrick T. Fallon / AFP) (Photo by PATRICK T. FALLON/AFP via Getty Images)

Calling Up A Driverless Car And Having It Show Up With Some Dude Behind The Wheel Would Be The Letdown Of The Century

As freaked out as I am by the idea of a car driving itself while I sit in the back and watch The Simpsons on my phone, I love the idea of not having to talk to a driver. I'm not against it, I'm just bad at it. I've had more awkward conversations with drivers — in fairness, it's usually my fault — than I have pleasant ones.

So, imagine how disappointed you'd be if you phoned up an autonomous car, only for it to arrive with some dude named Sal sitting in the front seat.

"I'm not driving," Sal would say. "I just make sure the car doesn't crash through the front window of a yoga studio."

READ: GUY GETS TRAPPED IN SELF-DRIVING CAR THAT KEEPS GOING IN CIRCLES

It'd be such a letdown. I experienced similar disappointment, not with a driverless car, but with a robot waiter.

I went to an Italian joint that had one of those robo-servers, but for some reason, they only let the robot deliver appetizers. I'm not sure why. Maybe the robot accidentally dumped a steaming plate of chicken parm in some lady's lap, so it was apps only from that point on.

I didn't want an appetizer that day, but I did want to experience a robot waiter, so I ordered an app. 

A few minutes later, some human dude (at least I'm pretty certain he was human, maybe it was just a very impressive robot) in a stained t-shirt and an apron came to the table and dropped off an order of bruschetta that I had only ordered because I had been led to believe it came with a side of robots. 

What a let down. I was half tempted to slide it off the table with my forearm in protest, but ended up eating it, and it was delicious.

That will be the case for many a Waymo rider in New York City until the rules change and driverless cars are free to roam around the city's five boroughs… or more likely sit in traffic.