JD Vance Says Trump Mocked His Shoes, Then Bought Him Four New Pairs During Oval Office Meeting

If you're working in the Trump Administration, there's a certain level of appearance that needs to be maintained. That's true even if you're the Vice President of the United States.

Fortunately, the boss is apparently more than happy to lend a hand when it comes to helping those in his administration up their wardrobe game.

Vice President JD Vance told a story about what it's like behind the scenes in the administration.

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It turns out, if your shoes suck and your position is important enough, the President might buy you some new ones.

"And I'll tell you, the president is exactly in private who he is in public," the Vice President said. "Like, I'll tell you a little story… a week or so ago, I walk into the Oval Office and Marco (Rubio), and I are sitting there talking with the president about something, and he says, 'Stop.' And he looks at our shoes and says, ‘You guys have terrible shoes.’ 

Imagine getting posterized for your footwear choices by the Leader of the Free World in the most famous office on the planet. 

I thought I heard a kid in my neighborhood goof on my Crocs while I was walking to the pool a few months ago, and it rattled me for days.

But, on the bright side, the President isn't just going to bash your shoes without doing something about it.

"So he goes and gets a shoe catalog," Vance recalled. "And I remember this is the Christmas season. So the president's got some holiday cheer. He goes and gets a shoe catalog and gets his favorite shoes and orders like four pairs of shoes for me and four pairs of shoes for Marco because he's like, you know, ‘We need our vice president or secretary of state to look their very best.’ And, you know, then we went back to talking about whatever major international issue we were talking about. 

"Again, he is exactly in private who he is in public. That's not true of most people in Washington, DC. It's not."

Wow, there's a lot to drink in about that anecdote.

For starters, the President having a hard copy of a shoe catalog on hand is wild. Sure, he's an older gentleman, but I like that he didn't just make some White House intern hop on Amazon.

Also, how bad were these shoes? I don't know what they were talking about, but whatever it was got tabled because they were so terrible.

Imagine having shoes so bad that you delayed talks about what to do about Venezuela.

I mean, were these like Sideshow Bob-style clown shoes? Herman Munster waffle-stompers?

I think this is easily in the No. 2 spot on my list of the greatest clothing ordering moments to have ever happened in the Oval Office.

It's going to take a lot to knock Lyndon Johnson ordering pants off the top of the heap.

That was just magic, wasn't it? Real lightning in a bottle stuff.

LBJ clarifying that the "crotch" is the area "down where your nuts hang," then asking for extra material from where "the zipper ends, round, under my, back to my bunghole, so I can let it out there if I need to" and punctuating that sentence halfway through with a belch straight into the phone?!

Those quotes should be on money.

As I said, tough to top — unless someone finds a wax cylinder of Grover Cleveland ordering long-underwear that'll let his boys breathe — but this shoe-shopping spree is a respectable second.