True Romance: A Holiday Hall Pass Reward For A Tough Year, Cop Turns Down Sex Bribe & Sleeping With Neighbors

Happy New Year! Welcome to the latest True Romance. As we learned at Thanksgiving and Christmas, romance doesn’t take any time off for the holidays. Why would it?

We're all hornier this time of year. As we learned last week, thanks to those who are responsible for studying those sorts of things. The stress of the season is to blame.

And being stressed and horny is no way to have to face the holidays alone. Even those who have someone, the "it's better to receive than to give" among us, want more.

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That leads us to a guy who had a tough year believing he’s earned himself a holiday hall pass from his girlfriend. He wants one last farewell with an ex. Is that too much to ask?

That's not likely to go over well with his girlfriend, but he's not going to end up with a felony for attempting to bribe a cop with sex. But that doesn’t mean someone else didn’t try it.

It's the holidays after all, and what are the holidays if not the perfect time to try new things? That's the theme, if we have one, this week.

Welcome to 2026. Let's get it started off on the right foot. Don't forget to go follow along on Twitter and Facebook.

Is A Holiday Hall Pass Too Much To Ask For?

Now, before we jump to any conclusions here based solely on a headline, let's give this guy a chance to explain himself. His "gorgeous ex-lover" is back in town for the holidays and has suggested a "horny hookup."

Should he really let his girlfriend hold him back from one last good time with her? He's not so sure, but he's also not an inconsiderate jerk who would pull off the horny hookup behind her back. He wants a holiday hall pass. Is that too much to ask for?

The ex is in a relationship of her own and will be moving soon.

He explained to the Daily Star that she'd only be in town until January 2. He said, "After that, she and her American partner are moving to New Zealand for good. It’s highly likely that we’ll never see each other again."

A man who has had a tough year wants his girlfriend to reward him with a holiday hall pass. (Image Credit: Getty)

They met back in 2019 at a networking event and clicked. They had, off the scale, "sexual chemistry." They did some drinking, some flirting, and kissing before going back to her place for three days.

These two had a dozen wild dates before they went their separate ways when she moved. He continued, "Just the thought of being in her arms makes me feel tingly all over. She’s very hot and very special. Dare I tell my long-term girlfriend a white lie and go for it one, final time?"

He doesn’t want to go behind his girlfriend's back. He wants a free pass so he doesn't have to deal with any guilt. That's honorable, isn't it? It has been a tough year for him.

"I’ve had a tough year with my job and family issues. I genuinely think I deserve a treat. I work hard, I’ve always been kind and have further challenges coming up next year," he added.

I hope, if he hasn't already been given the hall pass, that he gets it before tomorrow. His girlfriend doesn’t want to ruin his last chance with his ex and his holidays, does she? I hope she has a heart.

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Bribing An Officer With Sex Is A Good Way To Add A Felony Charge

A North Carolina man added to his holiday troubles by suggesting that, instead of being arrested, that he have sex with the officer. When the officer didn’t take the bait, he ended up with a felony bribery charge.

It happened, according to The Charlotte Observer, on Saturday, December 27. The suspect in an assault investigation in Pitt County, who was accused of punching someone in the face "with a closed fist thereby inflicting serious injury," had other ideas instead of a trip to jail.

The 26-year-old man, the Pitt County Sheriff’s Office reports, told the officer after being arrested, "If you drop me off I will let you have sex with me."

A man being arrested for assault tried and failed to bribe an officer with sex. (Image Credit: Getty)

As tempting as that might have sounded to some, this particular officer wasn’t open for a romantic encounter. His misdemeanor assault charge found a partner, though. The bribery charge he picked up with his offer of romance is a felony.

"The defendant unlawfully, willfully, and feloniously did with a corrupt intent offer" sex in exchange for his release. This is a hard one.

On the one hand, you can’t bribe an officer, on the other, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. He could have been swept up in Christmas and misinterpreted a locking of the eyes with the officer.

Bribery, The Charlotte Observer reports, is a Class F felony with penalties that can include fines and 10 to 41 months in jail. His bond for the bribery charge was set at $10,000 and another $3,500 for the assault charge.

We can only hope this hasn’t ruined romance for him forever. There's someone out there for him. It wasn’t that officer on that particular day.

Hooking Up With Neighbors

What happens when you hook up with neighbors? A complicated sort of magic that ends with marriage sometimes. Other times it ends in disaster. On occasion, the romance goes down with the neighbor's lawn guy.

A few people asked the folks on Reddit for their stories of hooking up with their neighbors and they delivered. Here are a few of their heartwarming stories of getting to know their neighbors better.

• I actually met him on a dating site and when he told me where he lived I realized I could see his house from mine. He was two houses over but at the corner of my small street, so technically on the next street. We hooked up occasionally because it was convenient and fun but it was never serious. Anyway, I wouldn't recommend it. He would text me and ask me who the cars were in my driveway. He wanted more out of it than I did and it was weird to feel like I was being judged by what I did as a single woman in my own home.
• I married her!
• It’s a long story and I didn’t expect it, but it was awesome.
• My last boyfriend started out as my neighbor. We liked the look of each other, and eventually he invited me up and cooked me dinner. We were together five years off and on.
• I ended up with a brother.
• I had a brief fling with my downstairs neighbor. She moved.
• Did some wife-swapping parties back in the 80’s and had a long-ish relationship with a neighbor because of it. She eventually moved away and that was the end of it.
• Uni, wasn’t a neighbor but she lived in one of the rooms below my dorm. I occasionally saw her when I left or came back in the building. Eventually, we hit off, and she seemed rather nice, and we ended up smoking at hers and one thing led to another.
• Locked myself out of my dorm on my birthday and my dorm neighbor and I tried to pick the lock for like an hour and then she said I could stay in her room but nothing was going to happen. Things happened.
• Not my direct neighbor but their lawn guy.
• Yes, for about a month. I was single and she was newly divorced. Kind of awkward after it all went to sh*t.
• Don't do it, nothing but a ticking time bomb especially if you're an actively single person.

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That's all for the first day of 2026. Happy New Year. I'm not a resolutions kind of guy, but if you are, I hope you included romance this year.

We have a beautiful day filled with College Football Playoff games today. That's pure romance if you ask me.

Let's get back together for another edition of True Romance next week. As always, you can reach me, anonymously if you prefer, at sean.joseph@outkick.com. Go follow along on Twitter and on Facebook.