Tourists Stranded At Mexico Resorts, Tennis Reporter's Awkward 'Sex' Slip-Up & How Not To Wash Your Underwear

About a year ago, I found myself at a party where a group of ladies discussed all-inclusive resorts in Mexico.

Do we go to Cozumel? Puerto Vallarta? Cabo? Cancun? It's amazing how affordable some of these places are, and they're so nice! All you can eat, all you can drink and the most gorgeous private pools!

At one point, a woman with a slicked-back ponytail asked me if I'd ever been to one of these vacation spots South of the Border. I said, "No, honestly, if I want a beach vacation, I'll just go to Florida."

Ponytail turned up her nose a bit and pressed me on it: "Don't you think Florida can get old, though? I really think the all-inclusive is the way to go."

I replied: "Maybe. But at least there's a significantly lower chance I'll get my head chopped off by the cartel in St. Petersburg."

An audible groan and a few eyerolls.

It's perfectly safe. American tourists have been going there for years! Don't believe all that fear-mongering from Republican politicians. Mass shootings happen every day in the States, but you're worried about being unsafe in a luxury resort?

Blah, blah. It's not even worth arguing with these people.

I do hate to say "I told ya so," though.

Tourists In Puerto Vallarta Are Not Happy

In case you missed it, U.S. tourists are stuck in Puerto Vallarta after a Mexican drug lord was killed. Now, the cartels are shooting each other and blowing things up all around town. Cartel roadblocks have forced the airports to cancel both arrivals and departures, and the guests at those wonderful all-inclusives I heard so much about are sitting ducks.

Turns out, though, there are no special allowances given to hotel guests in these trying times. According to a Reddit thread, the Westin is simply refusing late check-outs to guests who were supposed to leave the property amidst all the chaos.

Obviously, doing so would not be advised. Not that there would be a flight available anyway.

Screw your Platinum Elite status, sir!

Naturally, social media dunked all over this guy for his "entitled" behavior in expecting to receive special treatment while the whole town is burning around him.

But I'm actually going to stand up for Mr. Platinum Elite.

For members at this tier, Marriott Bonvoy is supposed to grant complimentary 4 p.m. checkout, assuming there's availability.

If the roads were closed and there's no way in or out of the hotel or the city, it seems obvious to me that there won't be any new guests arriving that afternoon. So why wouldn't there be any availability? And the dude can't very well just march his happy ass out in the streets and demand that El Chapo (or whoever's in charge now) is just going to order his men to lay down their explosives and let the nice man pass.

I know hotels have to have their policies. But I feel like guests deserve a little leniency, given the extenuating circumstances.

Eh, well. He should have gone to St. Petersburg.

Woman Brews Her Panties In Hotel Room Keurig

A couple of years ago, I wrote about why I refuse to use hotel coffee makers. 

It's all because, many years ago, I watched a video where some YouTube fitness girl (this was before the coining of the Godforsaken term "influencer") used a hotel coffee pot to make salmon.

Imagine taking a sip of your morning Joe and tasting a little hint of fishy surprise.

And worse, the comments were filled with more people explaining their "coffee maker hacks" to cook food while traveling. To my horror, I learned there are people poaching chicken, steaming broccoli, cooking eggs and boiling hot dogs in their hotel rooms.

But none of those things are as appalling as what I witnessed this week on TikTok:

Yes, this woman — Tara Woodcox — proudly showed her 714.3 thousand followers how to wash their dirty underwear in a hotel room Keurig.

BARF.

I mean, sure, you could just run some hot water in the sink or the tub if you find yourself in a bind. But why do that when you can do something completely inconsiderate and revolting instead?

There's a rumor going around on X that Tara is being sued by the hotel chain for $1 million after this video went viral and guests started requesting refunds. But so far, I haven't been able to confirm the lawsuit is real.

This lady is REAL nasty, though.

Sebastian Korda Laughs Off Interviewer's Freudian Slip

Reporter Michelle Yu had a bit of a slip-up while interviewing Sebastian Korda about his semifinal win against Italy's Flavio Cobolli in Florida over the weekend.

"You’ve played Flavio three times and you’ve had sex — success with him all three times. Why is it that you have had such success?"

Oh noooo Michelle! Someone's clearly been watching too much Heated Rivalry.

Korda cheekily replied, "He’s a good-looking guy, so…"

Good on Korda for being a good sport.

Gene In The Rock Is Team Sophie

As a once-upon-a-time Jersey boy, I am the mirror image of what Sophie discovered about Los Angeles.  Growing up in a not-so-nice part of the NY suburbs, I was a typical big city boy -- eyes down in public, expressionless, don't make trouble, don't smile or talk to strangers. I spent 35 years thinking it was normal. Then I moved to El Paso for a job, and after about a week I made the weirdest discovery: My neighbors were smiling at me. The gardeners. The garbage men. Once even a cop. WTF?

When eventually I found the courage to smile back, life changed. I mean big, amazing changes. The difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee is that a Damn Yankee won't go home, and I guess I'm damned because I ain't ever goin' back there. Proud of it, too.

Sophie has it right. If you were lucky enough to be born, as she was, away from that mayhem, then stay lucky.  You'll be happier for it.

Richard M. Disagrees With my Rating Of Brooks Nader

Last week, I said bikini model Brooks Nader is a 15 out of 10.

Richard Writes: [Brooks Nader] Is at best an eight. Admittedly out of my league, but definitely not a 15. And the only people who can use my toothbrush are my wife and Keira Knightley.

Amber:

Not long ago, the folks over in Screencaps fiercely debated the hotness of Canadian popstar Tate McRae (Jack Hughes' rumored girlfriend).

One reader — I sh*t you not — said she's a 4. A FOUR!

At least Richard isn't as bananas as that guy.

As a heterosexual female, I don't pretend to understand the science behind the numerical hotness rating scale. As far as I can tell, it's volatile and arbitrary.

But there's simply no planet where this woman right here is "at best an 8."

Yeah, sorry. Brooks Nader is no less than a 10.

Even if she is a loon who refuses to buy her own toothbrush.

Galen In Sunset Beach, NC:

First time emailing you, but a long time Outkick contributor. Love your columns and your takes on things, but I gotta sound off on the toothbrush video. 

I know I am not in the dating wheelhouse of these people, but my goodness! I could not fathom even socializing with them. I can’t imagine what my face would look like as these people started talking this word salad BS, expecting me to give a sh!t about their opinions on mindless stuff, and sharing a toothbrush? So out of touch with our Outkick community! 

Thanks for helping to keep us sane, Amber!

Amber:

Keeping y'all sane is my job around here. And it's one I take very seriously.

📩 Email: amber.harding@outkick.com
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OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m.