Topanga From Boy Meets World Refuses To Age, Carrie Underwood Stuffed In A Pink Dress & Masters Middle Finger!

Well, they did it again. IDIOTS! The libs let us squeak on by to another Friday, and to another weekend. Not just any weekend, either. 

Masters weekend. How could they let this happen?! It's over now. They're cooked. They're toast. Don't even bother trying anymore, libs. We've already won. Augusta is ALIVE. We've got a solid leaderboard. We've got two prime nap days staring us right in our fat faces. 

And hey! Artemis II comes back to earth today! I forgot they were still up there. Just in time! You can watch Moving Day from your living rooms tomorrow. Excellent timing. Congrats!

Anyway, welcome to a Friday Nightcaps — the one where Topanga from "Boy Meets World" stops by to show Gen-Z what a real, millennial woman looks like. Amen.

What else? I've got the best of the rest from a loaded week of #content: Carrie Underwood squeezes into a pink dress, ESPN spent the week defiling Augusta National, and Kamala debuted the worst Trump impression you've ever heard earlier today. 

I'm serious. It's impressively bad. 

Grab you a transfusion to get your Masters weekend going, and settle in for a Friday 'Cap!

Question Of The Day: Have ESPN & Augusta National Gone Too Far?

So, this is something I've seen for three days now over on Elon's Twitter. Folks are PISSED at how ESPN handled Wednesday and Thursday at The Masters. 

The Par 3 contest on Wednesday is always a lighthearted event. The calm before the storm. Nobody ever takes it seriously. 

Yet, somehow, ESPN managed to… go too far. They gave us more Jason Kelce even though nobody — and I mean nobody — has ever asked for it. Kevin Hart was jumping around like a lunatic. Laura Rutledge was interviewing wrestlers. 

All of this, by the way, AFTER Augusta denied Pat McAfee a pass. Could you imagine if McAfee was on site? It would've been chaos. 

For years — decades — part of the Augusta lore was the exclusivity of it, right? From the TV partners, all the way down to the patrons. Did ESPN jump the shark here? Was it too much? 

What A Week Of #Content!

Yeah, I mean, it was a lot. I knew the second I saw Jason Kelce on site, it was going to be bumpy for ESPN, and that's exactly what happened. 

Now, is ESPN completely to blame here? No. I wrote about it this morning for those who really want to dive in, but Augusta National deserves some of it, too. 

You can't take a crap on that property without someone knowing about it. If you even kind of look like you're thinking about taking a pee in the woods, it's a one-way ticket outta there. Don't you dare let them even sniff a cell phone. That's a sin. 

My point is, Augusta controls everything — so much so, that it's, frankly, exhausting. I get annoyed by it at times. But it's their show, and they control everything. So, yes, they knew exactly what ESPN planned for this week. They knew exactly what was coming. They signed off on everything. 

If we're gonna crucify ESPN — which is always encouraged here — we have to be fair and give equal time to Augusta. The FCC says so! 

What's the ultimate goal here? I have no idea. But, it was odd. 

OK, let's get to the best #content from a big week. F-U!

Carrie, Kamala, The Big Js Are Silent (Finally!)

What a week, and we're just getting started. This is our second "big" weekend of the year. The first, of course, was the first weekend of March Madness a few weeks back. This is No. 2. 

After this, we have Memorial Day, then July 4, then college football Week 1, and then, of course, the NFL. 

Soak it in, boys and girls. It's a wonderful time of year. Coupla thoughts…

1. I have never found those Masters highlights funny. At all. I know this guy goes viral every year, but I have never even kind of laughed. Am I missing something?

2. Good to see Topanga still has her fastball at 44. She was all the rage back in the day, Gen-Zers. 

3. Mark Jones leaving ESPN is so amazing. God, he is just the worst of the worst. He blocked me on Twitter years ago because I did an NFL Power Rankings: Race Baiters Edition, and Mark was in Tier 1. 

Remember that one time said he would refuse a police escort because he was scared they'd kill him because he was black? Good riddance, dummy. 

4. The Big Js have been awfully silent on the Russini-Vrabel front, haven't they? Le Batard on the verge of tears over it was laugh out loud funny. Here's an actual quote:

"This would not happen to Shams, this would not happen to Woj, this would not happen to any of these people. She doesn’t want to be at the center of this. This is not why she got into this business."

Hey, dummy. If Shams, or Woj, or, say, Adam Schefter were caught in a pool with Mike Vrabel, alone, at a romantic resort meant for marriage proposals and honeymoons, I can assure you it would happen to them. 

God, these people are so dumb. 

Speaking of Schefty, let's rapid-fire this Friday class into a big Masters weekend!

So, Schefty got backed into a corner here and ended up hemming and hawing for 10 minutes. Which, to be fair, I'm not sure what else he could've done? 

At least he said… something? The Big Js, like I said, are being real quiet on this one. Too quiet. They never shut up, and now all of a sudden nobody is really talking about it in the media? Seems fishy to me. 

"I didn't report it. I saw it like everybody else did. And uh, I guess my thought would be, I don't know what's right. I don't know what's wrong. Uh, I feel bad for the families involved. It's unfortunate, you know? Um, I know both individuals. 

"Um, and yeah, I guess my first thought would be they went to the families of the people involved and, you know, I just wish everybody the best and hope everything works out with everybody."

Moving stuff, Adam. Poetic. Quite the wordsmith! 

By the way, the Big Js had NO problem teaching us all about ethics earlier this year when that sweet old lady in Duval got crucified because she was too nice to Liam Coen after the Jags' playoff loss. Remember that? 

They wanted her BANISHED from the industry forever! And now, all of a sudden, it's crickets. 

Okeedokee!

Next? Anyone looking for yet another Donald Trump impersonator? Yes? Well, you're in luck!

Good lord. Is that… a Trump impression? Is that what she's going for here? Is it Trump mixed with a member of the mob? Like a Trump/Tony Soprano crossover?

It's awful. Whatever it is, it's truly — and I mean this — truly awful. Trump impressions are a dime a dozen nowadays. Anyone can do one. It's easy. And THIS is what Kamala came up with? 

Is she good at ANYTHING? 

OK, that's it for today — and this week. Good work, all. Have a big Masters weekend. 

Take us into it, Carrie!

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Will you miss Mark Jones? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.