Straight Teeth Make Kim Kardashian Horny: 'One Of My Biggest Turn-Ons'
If you’ve got good teeth and appreciate a woman with a huge ass, dating Kim Kardashian could be in your future.
Happen to play in the NBA, too? You’re all but guaranteed to have a leading role in “The Kardashians” reality series by summer’s end.
Hollywood’s most famous (or is it infamous?) big butt, Kim Kardashian, admitted on Thursday’s episode of “The Kardashians,” that straight teeth are her version of oysters and dark chocolate.
“Teeth are, like, one of my biggest turn-ons,” Kardashian admitted during Thursday’s episode of “The Kardashians.” Kim K continued: “The straighter, the hornier I’ll get.”
Odd thing to publicly admit while making your home in Hollywood during Pride Month, but I digress.
Here I was thinking the former Mrs. Kanye West was turned on by field goal % and placement on the Billboard charts. Nope, Kim and her dumps like a truck, truck, truck, are all about a mouthful of pearly whites that have undergone an orthodontist’s pricey touch.
“Just kidding,” Kardashian briefly admitted. "But not kidding.”
Got it.
Kim Kardashian and her big butt are looking for some straight teeth. (Photo by Gotham/GC Images).
Kim Kardashian Turned On By More Than Teeth
If you're grill isn't up to snuff, you might not soon be using Kim's giant ass for a pillow. Butt - that doesn't completely eliminate you from following in the shoes of Kris Humphries, Kanye West or Pete Davidson as Kim's leading man.
Kardashian also used the episode to reveal, not just what makes her horny, but also what she seeks in a man.
“No heavy baggage, I have enough,” Kim Kardashian admitted. Ha! We've noticed. In more ways than one there's clearly no room left in the trunk for additional bags.
Kim than continued detailing her prefered partner: “Taller than me, someone that loves to work out, a motivated person, an independent person that’s not clingy and someone with good taste.”
Kim Kardashian seeks a man who's taller than her. (Photo by Marc Piasecki/WireImage)
Kim's 5'2" so the height shouldn't be a problem for most men.
So, if you're following along and desire a date with the most-famous derriere to squeeze its way into a pair of Lululemon's, let's recap:
Bad News For Bald Kim Lovers
Seems like a fairly simple list to check off for most, though there is one curveball Kim later threw out there. Even if your teeth are straight enough to have these oversized buns accompany your personal picnic, you'll be eating alone if you're bald.
Maybe. Probably.
“No balding. But then, I don’t know," Kardashian added, albeit, unconvincingly. "If I’m also in love, I’ll rub your bald head, you know what I mean? But we’re just talking about our perfection list.”
Alright hornballs, now you know what to do. Dust off the retainer, finish off the Rogaine and check your baggage. This butt's for you.
Follow along on Twitter: @OhioAF