Penny Lane Executes The Perfect Slow-Mo Pool Exit, Megan Moroney Slips Into A Bikini & Lowe's Shed Guy Update
Penny Lane put her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model skills to good use
The All-Star break is over, and it's time to start taking care of business
It's Monday morning, I'm on Screencaps duty over the next few days, and I have a week-long beach vacation starting on Saturday staring me down. Let's have ourselves a week, shall we?
This isn’t going to make or break my week by any means, nor will it make or break my Yankees season either, but the All-Star break is over, and it's time to start taking care of business.
The Yankees took two out of three from the Braves in Atlanta over the weekend and are in Toronto for three games to take on the Blue Jays, who just so happen to be the current first-place team in the AL East.
The lead the Blue Jays have over the Yankees is only three games. In other words, it's a great opportunity to have a big week and make up some ground.
The Yankees don't play Toronto again until September. A lot can and will happen from now until then, but it starts with this week's series. They need to turn up their game and start preparations for another World Series run.
It's as simple as that. Take care of business, get hot, and go get another ring. That's all I want. Is that too much to ask?
What happens if the chicken crossing the road doesn’t make it to the other side because it was hit by a car?
The person driving the car that hit the chicken is then sprayed with bear mace. That's the answer, and we know that because that's what happened earlier this month in Key West, Fla.
According to an arrest report obtained by KTVL 10, 38-year-old Cynthis Sosa stopped at an intersection on July 9 "to let a chicken cross the road." A driver stuck behind her didn’t want to wait, started honking his horn, and passed her.
That driver hit and killed the chicken. It's easy to say what you would do in that situation, but for Sosa, there was only one option: follow that chicken-killing car, catch up to it, and block the road in front of the driver.
"They began fighting over the door," the arrest report said. "Cynthia wanted to 'teach her a lesson,' so she pulled out her bear mace and sprayed it into the vehicle, spraying [the victim] directly in the face while she was seated inside."
Taking bear mace to the face is a tough way to learn not to mess up a riddle as it's unfolding in front of you.
Sosa, after delivering the mace, fled the scene. She was eventually pulled over by police and arrested. She was charged with two counts of aggravated battery and one count of burglary with assault or battery.
Worth it? I bet that dead chicken thinks so.
Man pleads guilty to whacking it in a Lowe's shed
Remember the naked guy with vaseline who was busted for "lewd behavior" in a shed at a Louisiana Lowe's? Of course, you do. Well, he pleaded guilty.
George Kalliavas, 66, pleaded guilty to an obscenity charge last Monday for pleasuring himself inside one of the display sheds at the home improvement store.
The Smoking Gun reports that he had been locked up on $15,000 since May 11 when he was arrested for the solo mission. Following his guilty plea, he was released from jail.
I don’t know what the likelihood of re-offending is for a pleasure session of one inside a shed, but I might consider locking up the sheds at this particular Lowe's location.
You don’t want to take chances of there being a repeat performance. However, I'm sure a couple of months behind bars set the shed whacker straight.
Thanks, George
- Homebrew Bill writes:
Give George my hearty thanks. I took precautions yesterday when getting propane and they filled them to about 67% full. That's more than enough to get through a brew day next Saturday. Making a raspberry jalapeno blonde and a Festbier for the late summer and start of college football.
Cheers!
SeanJo
That's great news ahead of a big brew day for late summer and the start of college football. Nothing needs to get in the way of that.
Bathroom business
- Jim T in San Diego writes:
Hey Sean,
Wondering if anyone else in SC Nation has experienced this?
Last week, a friend of nearly 45 years now living on the Texas coast (where he originally grew up before the Navy brought his Dad out here when he was in high school) was back home to help his folks downsize their home.
Friday, he and I and one other friend went back to the fast food joint where we worked together and first met back in 1981. While we were having breakfast and reliving some of our best pranks (putting the night manager's Honda up on four milk crates ...), a construction worker walked into the dining room, went straight to the bathroom - opened it, stuck his head in and looked around, and then turned back toward the entrance and waved a scantily clad young woman over. They went into the bathroom together.
One of my buddies had to use the head something bad, and so we waited ... and waited ... about 15 minutes by his count, and then the door opened, and the construction worker came out adjusting his pants, and the girl adjusting what little she was wearing. The walked out together to his truck, exchanged something (likely cash), and he drove off while she walked down the street.
Now, this was in the suburbs of San Diego. I'll admit this happened to me when I worked at a downtown location in '79 when downtown San Diego was far seedier than it is today.
Is this just a normal aspect of life now that i've somehow not encountered before?
(And let me point out that I'd washed my hands before breakfast, and my comment to my buddies after was, "Smells just as bad as it did 45 years ago.")
SeanJo
I can tell you, Jim, I've never seen that go down at a fast food joint. The closest thing to that I can recall is the time we witnessed a couple from our balcony getting it on at the beach at night.
But those two were either a couple or experiencing the magic of summer love at the beach. They were cheered on by others from their balconies as well and the laser pointers made it really hard for them to conduct their business.
But as they walked back from the beach, the round of applause for their performance had to give them a little boost of confidence or whatever you want to call it.
Anyway, does anyone else in SC Nation have a similar experience to the one Jim described? Let's hear it sean.joseph@outkick.com.
Mayhem on Wheels Roller Derby Fights
- Kirk B sends:
SIGN UP for The Daily OutKick. New Look, Same Attitude.
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That's all for this Monday edition. I'm on Screencaps duty through Thursday. Joe is expected back on Friday. Until then, let's have a solid week.
Show me your meat and keep my inbox full over the next few days. It's always open for meat and anything else you want to send my way, sean.joseph@outkick.com.