Naked Man With Vaseline Caught Allegedly Engaging In Lewd Behavior Inside A Shed At Lowe's

Over the weekend, an outdoor tool shed at a Slidell, Louisiana, Lowe's required a visit from police. A witness reported that there was a naked man in one of the sheds on display.

What was this naked man doing around 5pm on Mother's Day? According to police, he was engaging in lewd behavior. He had an open container of Vaseline and his phone with him.

I know what you're thinking. Where else would you apply Vaseline at a Lowe's? The outdoor sheds seem, at least in theory, to be a safe spot for moisturizing and protecting one's skin.

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There's only one problem with that. News Star reports that once police found the shed the naked man was in, he was doing more than simply applying the skincare product.

Officers reported that he was lying on his back with his pants around his ankles. He was also "using an open container of Vaseline and an electronic device while allegedly masturbating."

The naked man was caught in the Lowe's tool shed with his pants down and arrested

The Slidell Police officer who found the man ordered him, with his taser drawn, to pull up his pants and to roll onto his stomach so that he could be handcuffed.

The naked man had apparently had enough tool shed excitement for one day. He didn’t test the officer to see if he would actually use the taser.

He reportedly complied without any kind of resistance.

The unidentified man, who police want to make sure everyone knows isn’t from Slidell, admitted to his Vaseline-assisted lewd behavior. Although he told officers he was watching YouTube when he was busted with his pants down.

Getting caught masturbating in a tool shed with an open container of Vaseline is where this guy draws the line. Don’t dare say he was doing so while watching porn.

YouTube will do the trick just fine, thank you very much. The naked tool-shed man was arrested on one count of obscenity and booked into jail.