Drunk Raccoon Found Passed Out In Liquor Store Bathroom On Black Friday Has A Wild Rap Sheet

Last month, when I came across the story of a raccoon who broke into a Virginia liquor store and was found passed out drunk in the bathroom, I figured we'd all have a good laugh.

And we did.

But new information has suddenly made this story way less funny… or more funny, depending on how you want to look at it.

Why? Because it turns out that this particular raccoon had a real problem, and it's getting so bad that he's at the point where someone has to intervene.

In an appearance on the Hear In Hanover podcast — the official podcast of Hanover County, Virginia — Animal Protection Officer Samantha Martin said that this raccoon has a serious issue when it comes to breaking and entering places.

"This is not the first time he's been in one of the buildings," Martin said, per UPI. "Supposedly, this is the third break-in he's had."

Oh my god… this guy has a real problem.

But this adorable petty criminal doesn't stop at liquor stores.

"He was in the karate studio — I think he got into the DMV (and) ate some of their snacks one time," Martin said.

You haven't hit rock bottom until you're breaking into a karate studio. I mean, what are you going to do? Steal a gi and sell it for booze?

A hard-partying raccoon in Virginia was revealed to have a rap sheet that included break-ins at the DMV and a karate studio. (Getty Images)

And going to the DMV and raiding its fridge? How desperate do you have to be for grub that you're digging through DMV fridges for scraps of food that the drones who work there left behind?

I mean, that's only one step above digging through the trash, and I bet that's not for him… oh, wait.

Martin said that she hopes this trash panda with a serious problem learned his lesson.

"I hope he learned his lesson," she said. "But I just say, 'Enjoy your life.' I think he's living his best life, and why not? Have a drink or two, especially on Black Friday."

Yeah, I'm not sure this guy can handle his booze, though. If you have a drink or two and break into Sensei Greg's Karate Studio, you might have a serious issue on your small, hand-like paws.

I think it's time for an intervention. 

Let's bust out the talking pillow and get this fella back on the straight and narrow…