Oregon Is Giving Inmates iPads; What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Oregon's prison system is reportedly having such a problem with illicit substances being sent to inmates that they've decided to do the same thing most parents treat their kids' outbursts while out to dinner at Chili's, and they're throwing iPads at the problem.

According to the Daily Mail, the Oregon Department of Corrections says that all mail, aside from legal letters, will be scanned and delivered to inmates' tablets.

It makes sense. You can't keister an email attachment.

So, it's a great idea, but I feel like this is playing with fire.

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Now, I've never been in jail. Hell, I'm such a chronic rule follower, I never even got detention in high school.

However, I have watched some prison documentaries. 

Prison ingenuity and iPads may not be the best combination, but let's see how it plays out in Oregon. (Getty Images)

What always struck me was how, for whatever reason, going to prison instantly turns people into MacGyver.

They start making wine out of orange juice and slices of white bread, or they start using toilets as a more advanced communication system than any society had until the telegraph came along.

So, given this propensity to turn trash into (prison) gold, why would we give them iPads?

I mean, think about what they've come up with using low-tech items like toilets and matches. Now, imagine where that kind of graybar ingenuity will go if the jumping-off point is an iPad.

Sure, I bet these will be heavily locked-down iPads, but since when has something being locked-down stopped these guys? I mean, they're not supposed to be letting their bags of pruno ferment on radiators or cave each other's heads in with gym equipment either, but they do it.

It's only a matter of time before someone uses their iPad to hack into a government network, or they use it to hack and control a drone that aids in an escape, or, most likely, they just club someone who cut them in the punchline over the head with it.

So, while I'm eager to be proven wrong, I'm not sure how well the prison iPad pilot program will pan out.