Olivia Dunne Takes A Bath To Celebrate College Football, Sophie Cunningham's Sister & Zelensky's A Slob!

Welcome to our first Football Week since February. Soak it in, boys and girls. This is it. We're here. We made it. 

And look, any Week 0 haters in class today are welcome to head on down to CNN's class down the hall. Or, hell, try out MSNBC's new class. They're changing their name today. Didn't you hear?

"MS Now." That's it! No! Stop laughing. I'm serious:

Thanks, Morning Joe! How in the hell will OutKick and Fox News compete with THAT? We're cooked. Might as well hang it up. Call it a day. The Libs have won. Sad. 

Anyway, welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where we do a deck-dance with Tiffani Amber Thiessen to celebrate the return of college football, and go from there. 

What else? I've got the best of the rest from a LOADED weekend of #content. Olivia Dunne, for some reason, took a bath in the Rose Bowl, so we'll obviously get to that, and the White House once again told that SLOB Zelensky to dress like an adult. 

Let's see if he listened …

Grab you a Guinness to celebrate college football's return to Ireland, and settle in for a Monday 'Cap!

Hey, Zelensky, act right

It's Farmageddon week! Now, I'm not a huge fan of playing a rivalry game in Ireland. That seems silly to me. It's up there with all the Week 1 neutral site games. Don't love it. 

College football belongs on campus. Period. End of story. Would I rather this game be set in a blizzard in Ames this November? Sure thing. You betcha. That being said, I ain't complaining too much here. 

After all, we get football back this weekend. Real, tangible football. It counts! College GameDay? Yep. Psycho parlays to scratch an itch that's been nagging me since last January? Hell yes. Cold beer at 11 a.m.? Well, that's most Saturdays, but still – this one will hit differently. 

The First Lady went into labor last year on Week 0 Saturday. I remember timing contractions while watching the 'Noles get the piss beat out of them in Ireland. Hoping things go a little smoother this weekend. 

Anyway, speaking of children, let's check in with the expectations for today's Trump-Zelensky White House meet-n-greet:

What a weekend of #content!

This little f--ker. I cannot stand this Zelensky. I don't have a horse in the race. I don't. Global politics? Not my thing. I can barely keep up with the dumb stuff that goes on here. You think I'm gonna dip my toe in Russia and Ukraine? No shot. I still don't know what the hell Crimea is. Not a clue. And I do not care. 

Here's what I do know, though … this Zelensky guy is a snake. Putin probably is, too, but at least he acts like he belongs. Why can't this prick dress correctly? I don't get it. If I were Trump, I'd lock the front door and tell him to hit the Dress Barn down the street before trying again. 

And hey! He can walk there alone now, since DC isn't a hellhole anymore! Win-win!

OK, let's get to the best #content from our final football-free weekend till January. 

Tiff Ann is BACK, Sophie's sister & Livvy!!!

What a weekend! Couple thoughts …

1. Jamie Lee Curtis? What a CHOICE by Disney here. I can't get behind Freakier Friday, mainly because she's an insufferable Lib now, but I will gladly start gearing up for Halloween. That's when Jamie really shines. 

2. That MLB realignment? Come on. I know that's where the league is going, but let's try to workshop it a bit more before hitting ‘send’ on the final draft. I'm pretty sure my shitty D-III college team could win the Mid-Atlantic division. 

3. I asked ChatGPT to highlight some key things white folks have invented over the years. Shockingly, it didn't like how I had worded my question. Once I got past the woke stuff, it gave me a couple real gems:

- The lightbulb. 

- The printing press (although that one sort of fizzled out). 

- The airplane (super safe nowadays!)

- Penicillin. 

After it was done begrudgingly answering my question, ChatGPT did suggest that I tone down the rhetoric in the future. 

"So the more accurate way to frame your question might be: What are some of the most important inventions that originated in Europe or the Western world?"

Don't tell me, Chat! Tell racist Joy Reid! Don't shoot the messenger. 

OK, let's quickly rapid-fire this Monday class into a big Monday night. First up? Pour one out for Nightcaps OG Sophie Cunnigham, who went down with a bad injury last night thanks to the SHIT refs! 

The silver lining? We all met Sophie's firecracker older sister, Lindsey!

Welcome to class, Linds! If you're a fan of Sophie, you're a fan of Nightcaps. Didn't realize the Cunningham Family Tree had limbs like that. Impressive. 

Anyway, prayers up for Sophie! The WNBA needs her, desperately. So do we. 

Next? After a couple decades away, it appears Kelly Kapowski is headed BACK to our big screens!

Yes! Tiffani Amber is BACK, baby. You knew it was only a matter of time. I like to think OutKick helped resurrect her career over these past 18 months, and now she's landed a new gig. No idea if I'll watch "Coven Academy" (I won't), but I can't wait to see if Tiff Ann's still got it. 

From one bath tub to another, let's end the class – and start the week – with Olivia Dunne at the Rose Bowl. 

THIS is how you start a college football season. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Would you wear a suit to the White House? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.