Nick Saban Stripper Story, Bill Belichick Already Has An Offer & Alabama Track Star Helps Campus Mourn

Well, this weeks sucks for those of us in the content game. First Nick Saban, now Bill Belichick? What the hell? Even gum sales out in Seattle are about to take a HUGE hit now that Pete Carroll was shown the door.

Just a brutal 24-hour stretch. Do you realize how boring press conferences just got moving forward? How about the sideline meltdowns? Gone. All gone. Just like that.

On that cheery note, welcome to a Thursday Nightcaps -- where I try to pick up the pieces of my childhood and navigate this new post-Saban/Belichick world. At least Bill has a chance to go somewhere else.

Nick Saban is just gone. Donezo. Poof. I mean, hate him all you want, but who else in the world is giving you this sort of content?

What a run. What a coach. Just elite content from start to finish at Alabama, both on and off the field.

We'll say goodbye to Nick Saban today, and then stay on campus and visit with track star Chandler Hayden before getting back on I-10.

What else? Well, Bill Belichick got a porn offer. How about that for a tease? That's how you stay in the content game, baby!

We also have shirtless Gisele saying goodbye to Bill, ESPN fudging the numbers for College GameDay Emmy nominations, and the wind chill for Saturday's Dolphins-Chiefs game looks fun!

That's what I call a mixed bag of a Thursday class, which usually makes for the best lessons. Let' roll.

Nick Saban leaves Alabama one final time

We'll keep going with the Nick Saban stuff to start, because who knows how many more of these we'll get.

The Saban Alabama moments were obviously gold, but he also had some good ones with the Dolphins, too.

Here's an underrated Saban story from training camp back in 2005:

Hilarious. Manuel Wright, for those wondering, went on to have an illustrious NFL career ...

... just kidding! He never played a down in Miami, finished with six tackles and a sack over three seasons and ended his career with the Arena League's Stockton Lightning.

He did, however, win a Super Bowl with the Giants in 2007. Take that, Nick Saban!

Here's another Saban-Dolphins story you may or may not know:

How much would you pay for that security footage? I think I'd at least do $1,000.

And that story is 100% true, by the way. I've listened to Crowder on the Hoch & Crowder show down in Miami (shoutout to 560 WQAM!) for a decade now and he's told it a dozen times. Wild.

Anyway, here's video of Nick Saban leaving Alabama's campus one final time last night. Sad.

What a week for ESPN!

End of an era.

Now, let's head on up to Bristol and check in with the WorldWide Leader! What a week for ESPN, huh?

Aaron Rodgers has everyone sleeping with one eye open, he's taking shots left and right at top execs ON AIR, and now this little nugget comes out:

I mean, come on. That's good stuff. Oh, Desmond Howard can't win an Emmy? Well how about DIRK HOWARD!? Boom, Emmy time!

Hilarious. Pretty badass names, though. Kirk Henry sounds like the name of a receiver Bill Belichick would draft. Lee Clark sounds like a middling golfer from the 1980s. Gene Wilson was definitely a country singer from the 70s.

Tim Richard definitively sounds like one of those lefty power hitters from the 1990s who played for the Angels who sucked most of the time, but had that one random season where he hit .290 with 40 bombs.

I honestly respect this move from ESPN. Screw Hollywood.

Bill Belichick already has another offer

I know we've been Nick Saban-heavy today, but I don't want to forget about Bill Belichick. Am I the rare Dolphins fan who loves both Saban and Belichick? Maybe, but whatever.

I love content above all else, and Bill was a content MACHINE for over two decades in New England.

Seattle, Seattle, Seattle, SEATTLE! Again, how are we ever supposed to replace that?

Well ...

Gisele, Dolphins-Chiefs and Nick Saban is back already!

We here at CamSoda ... have been scouting you for some time.

What an insane start to 2024. I didn't think we'd ever top the lunacy of 2023, but I think we already have and it's only Jan. 11. Oh yeah, and it's an election year. What could go wrong?

We are beyond screwed. Hell, put Saban or Belichick on the ticket at this point. Zero chance they don't beat Biden. It would be a bloodbath.

OK, let's rapid-fire this sad Thursday class into a happier Friday one.

First up? Gisele!

If I'm Daryn from CamSoda, I'm probably going after Gisele instead of Bill, but to each their own. No judgement here. I'd watch either way!

Next? How about the weekend of playoff football we have staring us right in our fat faces?

Who's more pissed the Dolphins lost last week? The Bills or Miami? Serious question. Both could have just stayed in Miami all week and then ran it back Sunday in 75-degree weather.

Instead, the Dolphins get to maybe die in Kansas City while the Bills have to play in a blizzard. Dumb move by both teams.

Finally, lets head back to Alabama ... and hey, we're not alone!

Take us home, Alabama track star Chandler Hayden

Saban's about to real bored, real fast. Buckle up, Miss Terry. It's about to be a grind during the fall.

OK, that's enough for today. I'm gonna go watch some more press conferences while I try to figure out this Peacock thing for Saturday night.

Here's Chandler Hayden getting ready for Year 5 on Day 1 post-Saban.

Let's have a night.

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Would Nick Saban make you cry? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.