Nearly Naked Paige VanZant Covers Herself In Honey, Reminds Us God Is Everywhere

Paige VanZant spent the early hours of her weekend doing unholy things with honey before sliding into a ‘Merica themed bikini and a hat that has her primed and ready for Sunday service.

Things heated up on Friday, when VanZant, every husband’s favorite MMA fighter, let loose on Instagram and X, starting with the sticky stuff. 

PVZ drizzled honey all over her naked body, allowing her IG followers to appease their weekend craving for sweets. "Hello, honey," captioned VanZant on her initial thirst trap. 

My Lord. To be a bee around that hive.

Have to applaud the effort of Paige here. This seems like an incredible mess to voluntarily subject yourself to. Who the hell wants to be covered in honey? Imagine the pain in the ass (possibly literally) it is to scrub all that honey off in the shower. How many bottles of shampoo would be needed if you made the mistake of having honey meet hair? Worse yet, imagine if the sweet stuff finds its way down south. Front door or back door doesn’t matter. That’s an unwanted house guest.

BROOKLYN, NEW YORK - JANUARY 18:  Paige VanZant poses on the scale during the UFC Fight Night weigh-in at Barclays Center on January 18, 2019 in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. (Photo by Josh Hedges/Zuffa LLC/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images)

Paige Is Ready For The Pool

Fortunately, VanZant was able to quickly clean up and get herself prepped for both a pool day and a Sunday. Just hours after coupling with honey to send us into sugar shock, PVZ stuffed herself into the world's smallest American flag bikini. I think the honey actually covered less than the Stars and Stripes. Not that anyone's complaining. 

Paige paired her patriotic swimsuit with a hat that, when combined with a body that seems to have been born in an OnlyFans lab, would make most men fall to their knees and shout "praise Jesus!" 

For those of you with poor eyesight or the inability to (understandably) focus on anything from the chin up, VanZant's hat reads: "God Is Everywhere."

I'm convinced VanZant knew we were still hours from a seemingly stale slate of week two college football games (not that we're complaining) and too many days away from the NFL's opening Sunday to be content, so she busted out the honey and bikini to hold us over with the ultimate football appetizer just in time for the weekend. And she apparently did so with the help of a higher power who is everywhere.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Follow along on X @OhioAF or email me: anthony.farris@outkick.com