Model Dumps Boyfriend Over Dump Habits: 'You Don't Use Toilet Paper?'

So here's the deal -- it's a slow Friday. Honestly, that's not a bad thing, especially when you wanna get a head start on drinking (allegedly, of course). But I have to call them as I see them, and when I stumbled upon this viral TikTok of a model in Florida who dumped her boyfriend because he didn't use toilet paper, I was immediately intrigued.

I assume you were/are, too, so let's get to it and ruffle some feathers.

First, the now-viral TikTok in question from model Alexandra Maria Clara:

Model from Florida dumps boyfriend over dump habits

Just a ton to break down there. I don't even know where to begin.

Well, that's not true. I do. Let's start with the obvious -- this guy sounds like a douche. Just no two ways about it. I'd obviously like to hear his side of the story before making any final calls, but I assume that'll never happen so I'm siding with model Alex here.

That being said, I do empathize with him on two things.

No.1: Standing his ground and not buying her toilet paper.

Have you purchased toilet paper lately? I have, and it's ridiculous how much it costs. Freaking Biden's America is out of control right now, and the toilet paper/egg industry is currently taking it in the chin. You also have to buy 15 rolls no matter what. There is no in between with toilet paper.

You either buy enough rolls to get you to Memorial Day, or you don't buy any at all. And it costs $20 -- minimum. So I do get why he'd be like no, I'm not doing that.

Now, I personally would probably just suck it up and do it because I'm dating a model who is so far out of my league it's comical, so why would I mess around with that? But perhaps our wet wipe man had other options, who knows.

Now, to the bigger point -- I'm all in on wet wipes over toilet paper.

Maybe it's because I've spent the past two years changing diapers, but it's just such a better experience from start to finish. The fact that he doesn't even dry the area for a second is a little weird, but I'll let that slide. I assume if you sit there long enough, nature will just run it's course and it'll dry itself off.

But the point remains that wet wipes aren't a bad alternative to toilet paper at all. Again, I change 900 diapers a day, so I see it first hand. If it's good enough for our kids -- who we obsessively stuff with all-organic crap every single day 'because it's better for them' -- why isn't it good enough for us?

Also, there are a couple comments about how wet wipes aren't good for the environment. OK. That'll swing me!

Anyway, back to your Friday afternoons. Just thought it was an important message to get out there before the weekend.

Here's model Alex: