McDonald's Is Dropping Adult Happy Meals; But, No, There Is No Booze In Them

McDonald's is looking to bank on new adult Happy Meals that it hopes will lure customers back to the drive-thru to snag a quick hit of childhood nostalgia, and is even bringing along the McDonaldland crew for the first time in decades.

Yes, even anthropomorphic taste bud Grimace.

McDonald's has been having trouble getting customers to cough up $10 for a Big Mac and fries over the last few years (though things did start looking up recently), and it seems like it is going with nostalgia to change that.

Why, just a few weeks ago, the beloved Snack Wrap returned to the starting lineup to much fanfare. Even I got caught up in it. For days, I kept saying, "I need to try the Snack Wrap." Then I did, and it was fine. Not as good as the original.

But the point is the desire to recapture the days of riding my bike to the local McD's after school to crush a Snack Wrap, got me in the door.

I've got to assume that's the case with the new adult Happy Meals — or as McDonald's is calling it, the "McDonaldland Meal."

These will be available on August 12, and it looks like you get your choice of a Quarter Pounder with Cheese or some McNuggets, plus fries, and some blue and pink milkshake that is some mystery flavor that the company is staying tight-lipped about.

It looks cotton candy-like, but I hope that's not the flavor because that is the worst flavor on the planet. Pure trash. Only a child would drink that, not some dignified adult trying to enjoy his or her Happy Meal.

Of course, the real draw is the "toy" which in this case is a retro-styled tin full of stickers and postcards.

Try not to get too excited, folks.

I'm not really sure what makes these "adult Happy Meals." I'm going to guess the price, because you'll need an adult job to afford it. Sorry, kids; lemonade stands aren't paying for McD's these days.

The grub is the same aside from the milkshake, and I don't know if I can live with myself paying more for the same food for a tin full of stickers. Like, they couldn't even give us like a little wind-up Ronald McDonald's car, a Grimace with kung-fu grip, or hey, let's really go "adult" and maybe they throw in one of those novelty naked lady pens you can find at truck stops.

Perhaps she could hold a burger because it's from McDonald's.

Just spitballin'.

Anyway, perhaps the draw of getting another taste of childhood will get me to try one of these (I kind of want to know what that milkshake tastes like), but unlike my childhood, the aftermath will consist of me laying on the couch in agony for the rest of the afternoon asking myself why I let myself eat McDonald's.