Massage Parlor Employee Fang Wang Valiantly Attempts & Fails To Avoid Arrest By ‘Defecating Towards Officers’
Police responding to a massage parlor call got more than they bargained for.
How badly do you want to avoid being arrested? Enough to make an attempt at staying out of jail by taking a dump in the direction of officers trying to arrest you?
Well, as my new favorite name in massage parlor busts, Fang Wang, found out even a valiant attempt such as "defecating towards officers to evade arrest" won't work.
A message parlor employee in Florida attempted to avoid arrest by defecating towards officers. It didn’t work. (Image Credit: Getty)
Ms Wang, not to be mistaken for my new runner-up in massage parlor busts, Soon Bang, was arrested on Tuesday in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.
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Police responded to a report of a battery incident, reports WKRG, a local CBS affiliate, at around 12:30 pm. Wang allegedly tried to force a health inspector out of the business.
The FWBPD reported that they spoke with a Department of Health employee who says she was completing a routine inspection when Wang, 55, got upset with her and started yelling. That's when she allegedly tried the inspector out of the massage parlor.
When officers tried to detain Wang, that's when things got messy. She's seemingly making her way through the day with a dump on standby should she need it.
A Desperate Attempt to Avoid Arrest Went Spectacularly Wrong
She must have felt it was needed in this instance and that's when officers say she deployed her feces towards the officers. Her efforts to avoid arrest were unsuccessful.
Wang was arrested. She was then charged with battery on specified officials, which I have to admit, given the circumstances, doesn’t feel adequate. Is there no charge in the state of Florida for attempting to defecate on an officer?
This can't be the first time that someone in the Sunshine State has deployed this method on law enforcement while attempting to avoid jail.
The least surprising detail about the entire situation is that, according to the FWBPD, this location has had other run-ins with the law; feces does not appear to have been involved.
The release from police stated, "This investigation was a follow-up in relation to a search warrant previously served on this location when it was under the names Blue Bay Massage & Spa, New Magnolia Spa, and Classy Spa."
I hope we all learned something today. Defecating toward police doesn’t do anything except make for an uncomfortable and smelly ride to jail.