Man On His Frozen Junk 'Gone Are The Days A Feller Can Get His Wiener Frozen To Ground Without Going Viral'

Last week we learned about one of the dangers of getting into a drunken brawl in Canada during the winter. Your pants could end up below your knees, and you could end up face down with your junk frozen to the sidewalk.

It's real. It happened. It's on video.

Shortly after the video of the man's junk being pulled off of the icy sidewalk went viral, someone stepped up to claim ownership of the penis in question.

A Canadian man by the name of Blake McPhee reacted to viral "fame" on Facebook. This doesn’t sound like his first taste of going viral either.

He wrote, "Well looks like im famous here again lol. Man I don’t know how I get myself in these f*cked up situations.. Guess that’s what I get for being a drunk lunatic at the bar."

That's one way of looking at the situation. Although he wasn’t sure having his pants pulled down was his fault or necessary.

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He continued, "Still don’t understand why it was necessary to rip my f*ckin drawers clean off while I’m being arrested with 3 cops n 2 security dicks on me but that’s okay."

Now to the matter of the junk in question. There were claims made while the video was at the height of its viral hysteria that he left some skin behind during the removal process. If he did, he didn’t mention that.

Remember the days when you could get your wiener frozen to the ground and not go viral?

This dude had more pressing matters to address. He wisely made sure to point out that the cold did play a factor in the junk he was presenting at the time he was taken into custody by police.

McPhee wrote, "also I know I don’t have no f*ckin hog or nothing, but these folks makin vids n shit bout my tiny weiner lol you try having a dick n gettin er frozen fckin solid to the ground n see how small that shit gets fckin back n ass covered in frost bite jaw all f*cked from these guys kneeling on my f*cking face."

Solid point here. We can’t go around junk shaming a guy in freezing cold weather. We shouldn’t be doing that in this day and age with the science being so clear on shrinkage.

He closed his message out on a strong note by pointing out one of the problems with our society these days. He brilliantly said, "Gone are the days a feller can get his wiener frozen f*ckin solid to the ground without it going viral."

"Anyways glad I can be of some entertainment and back to making headlines. Gunna go crawl inside a hole and cry myself to sleep now. (P.s. sorry Ma)."

Gone are the days when you could get your wiener frozen to the ground. We'll be telling our grandchildren one day about the time in which such things were possible.

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Sean is a cubicle life escapee and proud member of OutKick's Culture Department. He enjoys long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners, and puppies - only one of those things is true.