Maggie Sajak Stuffed Into A Naughty Elf Outfit, Kay Adams Fights For Her Life & My Mall Fired Santa Like LIBS!

A Christmas Eve Hump Day? I mean, this is it. This is the big one, as Clark Criswald once said before earning his Jelly of the Month club membership. 

I can't think of a better way to spend a Christmas Eve Hump Day than by teaching this class on my day off. Week off, actually. Sure, I'm supposed to be golfing today and then smoking a boneless New York Strip roast for the next three hours, but here I am instead. You are welcome!

Fine, I'll peel back the curtain a bit. I wrote this days ago. You think I'm actually working on Christmas Eve?! I had an 8:57 tee time this morning with my dad and two brothers, and then, as I said, I had to get home and get the smoker GOING. 

First year in my new house back in my hometown, and I'm hosting Christmas Eve dinner. 

No pressure. 

So, yes. This is all pre-written. I hope to God it's still relevant today for the 4 students in class. Let's roll. 

Welcome to a Christmas Eve Nightcaps – the one where Maggie Sajak is the naughtiest elf this side of the Mississippi. Whatever that means. 

What else? I've got the best of the rest from a big week(end) of #content since I haven't been here since last Friday, JD Vance quoting Nicki Minaj, Danica at Turning Point, and Amanda Balionis stuffing herself in a Christmas dress and cranking up the HEAT. 

I'm sure Joe will take half that stuff for Screencaps, rendering it irrelevant by the time this runs, but whatever. Oh no, you get the same hot girl TWICE on the same day! What a terrible life!

Grab you a smoked Strip roast, and settle in for a Hump Day 'Cap!

My mall fired Santa 

Isn't that nuts? Sure, it's 2025. I get it. But no Santa at the mall? Really? Now, our mall is a mess. It's such a depressing mess. 

Frankly, I think it's made me lose some of the holiday spirit I used to have. Maybe I'm a loser, but I loved going to a store and shopping for Christmas. I miss it. Simply getting on Amazon now and pressing a button doesn't quite hit the same. It makes it feel like a chore, rather than a gift with any sort of thought put into it. 

That's what the mall was for me growing up. Going there, stuffing my fat face with some questionable chinese food from the food court, and then walking from store to store until I found something I thought whoever I was shopping for would like. That was Christmas. 

I just haven't felt it this year. I've been struggling. Clicking the Amazon button on my phone and tapping the "Gifts for Dad" icon on the front, and then getting the old man a pair of grilling gloves just because they would get here on time, just doesn't do it for me. 

I'll rally, of course. I always do. I have a strip roast to make tonight. I was going to do a standing rib roast, but the smallest one at Publix was nearly $80. The strip roasts were $12 off a pound, and only $40. I'm gonna give it a shot. We'll see how it goes. 

Anyway, all that to say … I went to my mall yesterday with my daughter to do some last-minute shopping for her mom, and there were four stores open – most of which I assume were fronts for some money laundering operation – and no Santa. 

Merry Christmas!

What a week of #content!

Great movie. Underrated movie. Jingle all the Way is such a Christmas banger. I've managed to watch just two Christmas movies this season so far:

Jingle all the Way. 

A Christmas Carol (the George C. Scott version).

I haven't even gotten to Christmas Vacation or A Christmas Story yet. Plenty of time left, though!

OK, let's get to some solid #content I didn't get to share with you earlier this week, then get to some hot girls, and then get on outta here:

Maggie, Amanda, Paige & Danica take us into the big day!

I mean, what a week(end). I haven't seen y'all since last Friday, so I appreciate you sticking with me even if you have seen some of that. Oh no! You had to see more Abella Danger content! Sorry!

PS: How about just googling "Abella Danger" on my work computer? Ballsiest thing I've ever done. Looking forward to meeting with HR in the new year!

Couple thoughts before we rapid-fire this Christmas Eve class into a Christmas Eve night. 

1. "Nicki Minaj said something at Amfest that was really profound" was a sentence I didn't think was possible to put together. What a time to be alive. 

2. Philip Rivers is better than 90% of NFL quarterbacks, and that's not Recency bias. He actually is. Does that say more about Phil, or about the state of quarterbacking in 2025? 

3. The Kay Adams-Brandon Marshall video from Saturday night is still eating me alive. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm scared for her. 

4. Santa ICE! The Libs are gonna faint when they see that one. 

Speaking of the naughty list … we're gonna rapid-fire this final-class-before-Christmas into a big night of strip loin smoking. 

Actually, you know what … it's Christmas Eve. I wrote this days ago. You've got things to do. I'm not really even here. 

Let's just end the day with Maggie Sajak as a sexy elf, Amanda Balionis in a Christmas dress, Paige Spiranac on the course, and Danica at Amfest. 

All in that order. 

Merry Christmas, everyone. No class tomorrow. I'll be back sometime next week. Some combination of Amber/Matt will sub in on Friday. 

Fire up NORAD, make some memories with the kids, and have yourself a big Christmas Eve night. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

Been to the mall lately? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.