Les Miles' Daughter, Smacker, Stuns The Internet, Dak Prescott's Girlfriend Not Fazed By His Awfulness & Home Depot Crime Lord
Confused by the Les Miles reference? You won't be in a minute. Confused by the fact that Les has a daughter named Smacker Miles? Me too! But, as Han Solo once said, it's true -- all of it.
We'll most certainly welcome Smacker to the Nightcaps family here in just a bit.
Speaking of NC -- welcome to a Monday Nightcaps! I'm a mixed bag today. On one hand, the Dolphins mopped the floor with the Giants yesterday and I had my best gambling weekend maybe ever this past weekend.
On the other, I woke up with a raging sore throat this morning and have to fly to CALIFORNIA in 48 hours. I mean, good God, what a miserable thing to have hanging over my head on an otherwise glorious Florida day.
Seriously, it's like 60 degrees here today. What's going on?
So, yeah -- mixed bag, but we power through because that's what patriots do. Real patriots, not that crap team up north.
We're gonna check in with the Miles Clan -- both Les AND Smacker -- in a minute. We're also gonna head down to Miami and visit with Dak Prescott's girlfriend after he folded like a cheap tent last night, and then stay in Florida to take a wild trip through a St. Pete Home Depot.
It's also International Beer & Pizza Day! We did the beer list a while back, so I think we'll tackle the 'Za today. Anyone who calls it a "pie" can also see themselves the hell out of class ASAP. That doesn't fly here.
OK, enough stalling. It's a Monday and my throat feels like it's drowning in Marb Reds. Let's get to it!
Happy Les Miles Day!
As Stanley Hudson once said while uncontrollably laughing during the infamous Scott's Tots episode of the The Office, "has it been 10 years already?"
Yes, it has!
Ten years ago today, then-LSU coach Les Miles walked up to the podium on a Monday afternoon and delivered the most incredible 30 seconds of TV you've ever seen:
For all those of you who know Italians, like Italians, people that might venture on to a ship and travel, to explore and find new lands ... this is your day.
WHATTTTTT?!
Amazing. Just amazing. This is your day! What the hell does that even mean? If you're a big fan of Italians and/or exploration, this is your day? Huh?
Les Miles is the best. What a firecracker. Happy Columbus Day to all who celebrate!
Now, let's talk about Smacker Miles
So, while I was searching for that clip -- and by that I mean typing Les Miles into the Twitter/X machine -- I stumbled upon maybe the most fascinating discovery I've ever made in the history of the internet.
Les Miles has a daughter. She goes by SMACKER Miles. And -- AND -- she's a smokeshow sideline reporter with a masterclass of an Instagram page.
Sarah Jane doesn't let terrible Dak Prescott stop her
Jarring stuff, right? Who knew? And if you did, how did you not tell me? Feel like OutKick is a leader, not a follower, in this arena, so this is a tough look for us and me personally.
You didn't think Les Miles' daughter, who goes by Smacker, would be a good fit for Nightcaps? If that's true, shame on you.
Now, Smacker's not her real name. Sad, I know. It's actually Kathryn, but this is a childhood nickname that's pretty much permanent at this point. She also used to swim at Texas where she won FOUR Big 12 Championships with the Women's Swimming and Diving team.
Unreal. And now here we are in 2023, where Smacker Miles is a sideline reporter for ESPN and the AAC. What a world. I love this damn country.
Sarah Jane, you doing OK after that Dak disaster last night? It's OK, you'll get used to it. We're all numb to it at this point.
Skip is done with Dak and Jets social media team gets an A
Glad to see Sarah still pumping out content even though Dak stinks. Although, she's wearing red right there ... perhaps she's on the Big Cock Brock train? After last night, how could you not be?
Let's check in with super weirdo Skip Bayless and get his thoughts on the big win for the Niners:
Goodness. So weird. He's a billionaire though and I'm here talking about Les Miles and Smacker in 2023. Who the hell am I to judge?
This video still gives me the willies, though:
You ever wonder what a sex face and a poop face would look like if they were mashed together? That's it. You found it. There's your answer.
Speaking of poop faces:
You know I love me some good Sean Payton dragging, so this one obviously gets some shine today. A+ work out of the Jets' social media team, although I will say we're nearing the whole "maybe the Jets aren't that bad with Zach Wilson" phase again. It's like clockwork at this point.
Don't believe me?
Here's an actual quote from a NY Post column today:
But it’s reasonable to think they aren’t much worse off now than they would’ve been if Aaron Rodgers’ Achilles hadn’t gone all Vesuvius on him. Their season easily could’ve died a mile above sea level Sunday. It doesn’t. Hope lives. And so does a season.
Yeah, OK. If you think that's a reasonable thing to think now that the Jets have beaten the ... Denver Broncos ... than you're in for a looooooong season.
Home Depot and Pizza
Couple quickies as we turn our attention to yet another awful primetime football game here in a few hours.
Packers moneyline looks sexy to me, for what it's worth. And I'd listen now because this heater I'm currently on ain't lasting forever.
How Doers Get More Done:
Yowza! That's some serious Walter White stuff going on over there in St. Pete. What a story. Turns out, Dell's 39-year-old wife AND 72-year-old mother were both helping him out, too!
Good looking couple, though. Look at those rocket launchers on his arm!
Finally, it's International Beer & Pizza Day. Along with Not-St. Patrick's-Day, of course.
We've done the beer thing already, so it seems like as good a time as any to tackle the pizza portion of my ever-growing Mount Rushmore.
Sorry, that's the list. No more callers at this time.
Take us home, 45!
Let's have a week.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Did you know Les Miles had a daughter named Smacker Miles and didn't tell me? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.