Kristin Cavallari Recycles In A Green Bikini, Michael Jordan Gets Drunk On A Plane & Fists Fly In The Sky
Well looky there – y'all made it! We did it. Survive and advance.
We gathered ourselves, composed ourselves, put our collective heads down and pushed through a big weekend of NHL playoffs, Talladega, meaningless MLB games and Scottie ruining another golf tournament.
Fine – NBA playoffs, too. Ain't my thing, but all students are welcome to class. We don't discriminate. Well, we don't love Biden voters, but I also assume we don't have many of those here at OutKick, so I don't worry about it too much.
On that note, welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – where we started the week with Kristin Cavallari and a fella at the Walmart who will have everyone ready to run through a brick damn wall before the final bell.
You'll see.
Yes, we'll welcome Nightcaps OG Kristin back to class today. She's not ready to see spring go yet and neither are we.
We'll also check in with Michael Jordan, who I assume is hungover as hell today, open the mail for the first time in a while, throw fists on a plane (shocker!), and call Mel Kiper on a landline in 2024.
It's NFL Draft week, baby! Can't leave Mel hanging on his week.
Grab a green drink to celebrate National Earth Day – AKA the woke's favorite holiday – and settle in for a final-full-week-of-April Monday class!
Kristin Cavallari celebrates earth day with her green bikini
I'll be honest, I have no clue how we're supposed to celebrate Earth Day or what it even means. I associate green with it because I assume the wokes will tell us we need to "go green" and recycle in order to save the planet.
That's BS, by the way. Recycling? It's all BS. We did it for a while, and then we moved to a new house last summer and it no longer had one of them fancy two-barrel trash can compartments in the kitchen – one for regular trash and the back one for recyclables. After that, we just sort of gave up.
Too much work. Do y'all know how much beer I drink on a daily basis? How much whiskey I go through a week? How many tubs of $7 Greek yogurt my kid goes through? Zero chance I'm taking all of it out individually to the green Recycle Only trash can.
And another thing … I don't know if this is just a Florida thing or what, but they recently just stopped taking cardboard boxes unless they're literally inside the stupid green trash can. I can't just break them down and put them next to it on my lawn anymore. Nope. I've watched them, and they just refuse to take it.
I have to actually get them to fit inside the can. Again, not doing it. Either y'all care enough to bend down and pick up the broken down boxes, or you really don't give a shit.
And neither do I!
Whew. What a rant. Happy Earth Day to all who celebrate, including Kristin Cavallari!
Luke Bryan goes down, and so do these spring breakers!
Welcome back to class, Kristin Cavallari! She has more spring green content on her Instagram page, but … you know what, I'm not gonna bitch today. It's the start of a new week. We're gonna stay positive around here. You all know Instagram embeds are down by now, so there's no need for me to keep harping on it.
Life is about adapting and overcoming, so that's what we're gonna do today.
Luke Bryan knows a thing or two about that, by the way:
Legend. Love that dude. I'm a big believer in self-depreciation. Frankly, it's the only true way out of that spot, and Luke gives out a free masterclass in it.
He could've been like most of the holier-than-thou, self-entitled celebs and bitched and moaned about someone having their phone A) out during his concert, and B) on the stage, but he instead just leans into it and gets on base when his team needs a duck on the pond with the game on the line.
Beautifully done, big guy.
Speaking of leaning into things and taking a fastball to the ribs …
Fists fly in the sky, MJ has a better idea, and this Walmart man is electric
That little kerfuffle took place on Georgia's Tybee Island during the annual "Orange Crush" Spring Break party.
From Joe's Monday Morning film breakdown earlier today:
Even with the smaller crowd estimated to be 6,000 compared to 100,000 in 2023, ladies decided to let the fists fly right there on the beach over who knows what. Disrespect? Someone said they hated someone else's wig? Baby mama drama? Side piece drama?
No idea. What's crystal clear is that even in years when the police have things under control, you can still get a knock-down, drag out street fight right there on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean.
That's called Tuesday in Daytona, by the way.
Rapid-fire time on this Monday!
First up? Mail time.
From Mike L in response to yet another addition to our aviation list last Friday:
Let's not forget all of Alaska Airlines was grounded yesterday.
Ah yes, Mike brought up an excellent point over the weekend. While discussing how terrible air travel was on Friday, I did forget to mention that all of Alaska Airlines was GROUNDED last week because of an issue with the system that calculates weight and balance.
Ho-hum, no big deal. Just one of those pesky mathematical errors when the captain's trying to decide if they can get the nose off the ground with 450-pound Billy in 32B. Insanity.
Mike was also kind enough to pass along a handy-dandy graphic of all the planes in Alaska's fleet:
It's the Year of the Road Trip, folks. If you have to fly, at least make it the Year of the Airbus!
… unless it's Easy Jet, of course:
Some research tells me that Easy Jet is basically the east equivalent of Spirit, which checks out. I do feel bad for the little girl, though. Not cool. You know where little kids don't see that sort of nonsense?
Their own cars. Just saying.
Now, let's check in with Michael Jordan in 2024 – not on the court, but … in Talladega!
MJ was at the track yesterday for the first time when his team actually won, and he made it clear he was ready to get tanked as hell (and I'd assume throw down some insane MLB parlays) on the way home:
That's my guy! Now you're sounding like a NASCAR owner. Bet MJ doesn't fly Boeing!
Finally, you know who could use some Monday motivation from this psycho Walmart guy? Yankees manager Aaron Boone!
Take us home … Mel Kiper and Wisconsin softball?
Hilarious. You won't find a more iconic ejection today, tomorrow, in the last century – ever. It's perfect. Love this fan, by the way. Yanks went scoreless through 5 today. About time someone showed some piss and vinegar in New York.
And how about Booney just immediately throwing him under the bus? I guess I would, too, but still … feel like, as the skipper, you have to take those bullets for not only the players, but your fans. You're better than that, Aaron.
OK, that's all for today. I usually try to end with a nice visual, but Instagram still won't work and I promised you I wouldn't bitch about it today, so here's Mel Kiper and Wisconsin softball to take you into a big week.
Hit by bitch.
Now go have one.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
How are you celebrating Earth Day? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.