Kayla Simmons Proves She's 'World's Sexiest Volleyballer,' Haymakers At AMC & Brittany Aldean Defends Her Man

Remember earlier in the week when I said life was good because my house was under contract and we're close to football season? Well, I'm an idiot. Scratch all of that. Life is apparently just good right now for volleyballer Kayla Simmons.

For me, things have taken a predictable turn. I should've known better.

Any car gurus out there? I'd imagine so. Well, I'm coming to you today from my local Chevy dealer, because my Colorado has decided to break down in unbelievable fashion ONE WEEK before I'm supposed to drive her to New Orleans.

Not great.

Here's what the last four days have looked like, in order: tire light pops on -- low PSI in the right-rear. Windshield takes fire from a rogue rock on the interstate, major crack that's growing by the hour. Now, it won't start without a jump, and the battery is fine. All the data checks out on her.

So, here we are, in the waiting room in a puddle of sweat just hoping and praying she comes through. What a week. What's the old saying? Bad things happen in threes?

Check, check aaaaaaaaaaand check!

Now, let's put the happy back in this Happy Hour and check in on Kayla Simmons -- who the internet has dubbed the World's Sexiest Volleyballer.

Elsewhere, we'll roll tape on the latest fight -- this one comes to us from an AMC -- pay tribute to Robin Williams on his birthday, say hello to Jason Aldean's wife, Brittany, and also see if Rays pitcher Tyler Glasnow can build as an atomic bomb.

That sounds like a loaded potato of a Friday to me! Let's get going, because it's Tropical Night downtown and I've got Hawaiian shirts to try on.

It's Oppenheimer day, so let's start with Tyler Glasnow

Kayla Simmons can wait, because we have A-bombs to build.

Today is the day we separate the men from the boys in this country. You going to see Barbie tonight or Oppenheimer? Or both? Your choice will certainly define you for years to come.

I'm seeing neither, because A) Tropical Night! and B) I don't want to get my face smashed in at AMC like a fellow Floridian did last week.

You'll see in a bit.

If I were going, though, I'd obviously choose Oppenheimer -- mainly because the internet won't shut up about this movie. I feel like I've seen the entire thing already at this point based on the 15 previews that show up on my TV every single day.

Anyway, the early reviews are already pouring in and it appears Chris Nolan has once again knocked it out of the park, which he tends to do with Cillian Murphy.

And, speaking of Cillian, am I the last one to realize he's basically Tyler Glasnow?

We have an AMC haymaker in Florida

Uncanny. Seriously, this may be the most insane Doppelganger I've ever seen.

Reminds me of a couple classic How I Met Your Mother episodes, specifically with Stripper Lily:

Great show, even with the ending. RIP Bob Saget.

OK, now let's head on down to Pompano Beach, Florida, where we had an absolute vicious attack take place at the AMC.

The below confrontation started when a nice couple asked a not-so-nice couple to please get out of their VIP seats. The victim "politely" asked the pair to move, which led to the perp "becoming hostile," according to the police report.

I'd say hostile is certainly one word for it:

Kayla Simmons, unlike me, is having a great week

Absolute bloodbath right there. This is why I don't really do movie theatres anymore. Just too risky. Too many wild cards out there.

I did like the Broward County Sheriff Department's headline for this above video, which they released on their site:

A MAN GAVE HIS WORST PERFORMANCE AT THE MOVIES AND DETECTIVES WANT TO FIND HIM.

We're a Law & Order state down here, so let's find this guy so everyone can go see Oppenheimer/Barbie/both in peace this weekend.

Feel like we need a morale booster (the only booster I'll ever get) after that. Luckily, ex-Marshall volleyballer Kayla Simmons once again comes in clutch.

Happy birthday, Robin Williams

Congrats on the string of good luck, Kayla Simmons! Must be nice.

The good news, though, is this waiting room has Duck Dynasty blaring on the tiny TV. So, you know, could be worse.

Moving on ...

Robin Williams.

Enough said, right? One of -- if not the greatest -- actors of all time would've turned 72 today. Hard to believe it's been nine years since he died. Still one of the worst days ever.

I was working an internship down in Miami with the Dolphins when he died, and I did the only acceptable thing that night: watch Flubber. And then Ms. Doubtfire. And then Jumanji. May have even mixed some Hook in there, too.

Guy was an absolute legend and is still on the Mount Rushmore of all-time great actors. Hell of a comedian, too.

Miss him to this day. Feel like the world could use some Robin Williams right now.

I could spend all day looking up classic clips -- and, frankly, I sort of have in here -- but do yourself a favor and spend five minutes at some point tonight watching this:

Emptying the tank for a big weekend

Like I said, we could all use a little Robin Williams today.

OK, let's wipe the tears from our faces and get ready for another huge weekend. Fellas, maybe spend a couple extra hours with the family, because we don't have a lot of these free weekends left ...

If you know what I mean!

Goodness gracious. Chills every time. We're so close.

Fine! Mount Rushmore of NFL songs:

And for those who don't know the pre-2003 NFL on CBS version ... you're welcome!

Boy oh boy, does that stir up some memories. Most of them are of the Dolphins losing, but whatever. A bad NFL Sunday is still better than a great Mon-Sat.

Before we get to Jason Aldean's wife, let's quickly check in on how things are going over at Royal Liverpool!

Brittany Aldean is someone I want in the foxhole with me

Raise your hand if you can relate to Gary Woodland?

Everyone's hand up? Good. Don't be ashamed. Embrace it.

OK, let's now head into the weekend with Jason Aldean's wife, Brittany. Don't know if you've heard, but Jason is under attack from the woke mob because he wrote an anti-riot song that triggered the left.

Our man hasn't backed down, and neither has Brittany. In fact, she's doubled down on Instagram and basically told the haters to take a hike.

That's #MyQueen.

See you Monday.