Japanese Embassy Releases Statement Telling Swifties To Calm Down

The Embassy of Japan is telling Swifties, "You Need to Calm Down."

In response to the absolute unnecessary hysteria that Swifties are having over the untrue rumor that Taylor might possibly postpone her final Japanese tour date next week so she can fly back to the Super Bowl, we now have an official Embassy releasing a statement to tell Taylor Swift fans to stop freaking out.

TAYLOR SWIFT WILL PLAY 4 SHOWS IN JAPAN

In a three paragraph, way too long statement that is so over the top it's ridiculous, the Embassy of Japan in the U.S.A. felt the need to go out of their way to say what we all knew.  They informed fans that Taylor is indeed playing all four Japanese shows and that there was never any threat of her not performing.   Also, to being overly dramatic over something that isn't even a real thing. 

"The Embassy of Japan in the United States is aware of recent media reports concerning the steps Taylor Swift will need to travel from Tokyo after her concert on February 10th to Las Vegas in time to watch the Kansas City Chiefs play in Super Bowl LVIII," the statement begins.

Good to know Japan has plenty of spare time on their hands that they're prioritizing Taylor Swift press releases. They've got a lunatic China just salivating like a Swiftie at a concert to start World War III with Thailand and drag Japan into war, in what is really ‘Bad Blood’ over there, but don't worry everyone because ‘the show must go on!’

The Japanese Embassy had to release a statement saying that Taylor Swift would still perform her concerts before she flies to see Travis Kelce and the Chiefs at the Super Bowl. (Photo by Kara Durrette/Getty Images)

IT'S TAYLOR SWIFT'S WORLD

The statement continued with plenty of Taylor puns throughout it including a reference to her Fearless, Speak Now and Red albums. 

"We know that many people in Japan are excited to experience Taylor Swift's Eras tour, so we wanted to confirm that anyone concerned can be Fearless in knowing that this talented performer can wow Japanese audiences and still make it to Las Vegas to support the Chiefs when they take the field for the Super Bowl wearing Red." the statement concluded.  

I'd love to know how this got approved and to what level it reached. Does the Ambassador have to sign off on this?  

Even though the Embassy statement comes off playful at times, it is 100% serious. All across social media you had Swifties believing stupid rumors that Taylor was going to ditch out on the final show. And because nobody does nay research or actually READS entire articles these days, some of the Japanese Swifties apparently didn't even realize that she would be back in Las Vegas with over a half a day to spare. 

WATCH OUT IF TAYLOR GETS POLITICAL

I used to argue that whichever political party banned TikTok, that the opponent would automatically win because it would bring out a ton of pushback.

I'm now changing it to the hell with TikTok and moving to Taylor. If she formally announces her support for President Biden, Republicans are going to be in trouble. I know you don't want to hear that, but it's important to be a realist and see just what you're dealing with here. This fanbase is insane, rabid, and will not stop at anything except Taylor winning - hell, they even celebrated when Al Michaels was removed from the broadcast after slighting Swift!

Between Mr. Phizer and Taylor Swift should she endorse Biden for President, the Democrats will make  sure that Republicans have a cruel summer ahead of the election. 

Don't believe me? Just look at some of the replies to the Japanese Embassy's statement

Let's kick it off with Ryan, who seems like a lot of fun.