It's Time We Talked About Parking Lot Etiquette
Professor Perry is here to teach you all about parking lot etiquette
My unorthodox work schedule with OutKick affords me certain luxuries, one of which is being able to do my grocery shopping during a Tuesday or Wednesday when I am off.
This allows me to avoid some of the things that make shopping the bane of my existence, namely large crowds of double-digit IQ mouth-breathers.
I missed my window for grocery shopping this past week, with Thanksgiving throwing a wrench in things, and was forced to go after I got off yesterday.
What a mistake that was!
I was reminded why I love grocery shopping in the middle of the week, and a big part of that is the behavior of human beings in a crowded parking lot.
Why is it so hard to act like civilized people as soon as we are crammed into a tight spot with a bunch of automobiles surrounding us?
I've made my thoughts known about people who use the online pickup spaces as regular parking spots, but this goes even deeper than that.
Let's talk about some of the things that almost NO ONE gets right in the parking lot of a shopping center.
Life In Prison For Shopping Cart Deserters
If you don't return your cart to the cart corral, you deserve the worst fate imaginable.
I go shopping with my kid all the time, and he loves to ride in the cart, and I can even return my cart to the stall.
It takes very minimal effort and not doing it is born out of some combination of laziness and no regard for your fellow man.
You're a scumbag (and probably a lib) if you leave your cart in a parking spot after you're done using it.
Spot Saving Is For Third Graders
This is a rare occurrence but happens from time to time, nevertheless.
The last time it was acceptable to "save a spot" was in the third grade lunch line.
It's unacceptable at movie theaters, on planes, and definitely in parking lots.
Grow up and find an open spot like a normal adult, and don't be like the militant Karen in the video above.
Waiting For Parking Spots Is Beyond Lazy
Waiting for or hunting for a parking spot because it's closer to the front of the store is beyond lazy.
We wonder why America has an obesity problem, and this mentality could have something to do with it.
Park an extra 200 feet away and get a few more steps in. I promise you, you need them more than you think.
Stalking For One Is Even Worse
Waiting for a parking spot is bad enough, but if you stalk someone back to their car for their spot, you are not only lazy, you're also rude.
Take it from notoriously even-keeled citizen, Tony Soprano, and "take it easy."
I can't tell you the amount of times I've been followed back to my car by an opportunistic shopper only for there to be an open spot four cars down from me.
God forbid these animals don't get EXACTLY what they want.