People Who Park In The Online Pickup Spots At Target Should Be Jailed

Since taking this job at OutKick, I've had a little less of a traditional work schedule.

On the days I work late or I'm off, my wife will take it upon herself to send me on an afternoon errand run.

This will usually lead me on a car ride to Hell on Earth, or "Target," as it is colloquially known.

I loathe Target for a number of reasons, but I think I've zeroed in on what I hate the most about every sorority girl's favorite retail establishment.

You see, my wife will place a Target order on their app for me to pick up, which involves parking in a designated "online pick-up" spot.

And these spaces are NEVER available, because mouth-breathing troglodytes decide they're going to use these spots (located near the front of the store for the convenience of the workers bringing out your order) to avoid walking an extra 35 feet across the parking lot.

These are absolutely the same people who don't return their shopping carts to the cart corral, a real litmus test of how much of a scumbag you are, in my humble opinion.

This really takes "instant gratification" to a whole new level.

Imagine how lazy you have to be to take a parking spot specifically designed for other people too lazy to go inside Target to shop for themselves.

I tried to find a small contingent of people on the internet who agreed with me to validate my opinion, but all I could find were losers extolling the virtues of online ordering through the Target app.

What planet are these people on, anyway? 

There are no online pick-up spaces available, it takes ages for them to bring your order out, and half the time a portion of your order is missing items.

I live in Hell.

Anyway, I gotta go. My wife is making me pick up an online order for a $7 ceramic cactus to tie our living room together.