It Appears Geoffrey, The Toys R Us Giraffe, Has Fallen On Hard Times

Sorry to report, but it appears Geoffrey -- the iconic Toys R Us giraffe we all grew up to love and admire -- has fallen on hard times post-retirement.

Happens to the best of us, but even I'll admit I didn't see this one coming. It's never easy seeing your heroes in this state -- just ask Tiger Woods fans -- but we all go through it.

If you were a Toys R Us kid growing up, look away. At the very least, turn down the volume.

Toys R Us giraffe Geoffrey belts out tunes at minor league baseball game


Did NOT have Geoffrey the Toys R Us Giraffe chain-smoking and singing at a minor league baseball game on my 2023 Bingo card, but that's why the internet keeps you guessing.

Oh, it gets worse, too. Didn't think it was possible, but alas ...

Yikes. Looks like poor Geoffrey didn't exactly take advantage of that Toys R Us 401K back when it was printing money in the 1990s, and onw he's paying for it. Not great.

Tough life lesson here, but a good one for all the kiddos out there reading this. It's never too early to plan for your retirement, because one day you'll eventually get laid off and end up drunkingly ripping cigs at a minor league baseball game.

I'd imagine Geoffrey ain't alone, either. Somewhere, there's a couple former Blockbuster, Circuit City and K-Mart employees doing the same thing.


Fine, here's some ELECTRIC Toys R Us commercials to save us.

Written by
Zach grew up in Florida, lives in Florida, and will never leave Florida ... for obvious reasons. He's a reigning fantasy football league champion, knows everything there is to know about NASCAR, and once passed out (briefly!) during a lap around Daytona. He swears they were going 200 mph even though they clearly were not.