Hooters Girls Crank Homers In Stockings, Trouble At Deion Sanders U. & Attempted Murder With A Bowling Ball
Whew. What a topsy-turvy Hump Day I've had here at OutKick HQ (my house). Just a rollercoaster from start to finish.
How'd you take in the Wednesday morning sunrise? Well, I spent mine by breaking down Kristen Saban making out with a Bachelorette alum in a King Nick shirt, and then trying to decipher who was cheatin' who, who was being true, and who don't even care anymore?
Shoutout to Alan Jackson!
Anyway, between that, Jennifer Aniston's boobs and a beehive out in Arizona, this new early shift I'm working this week while OutKick Golf Guy Mark Harris takes some time off had me WIRED before breakfast.
I guess what I'm saying is, strap in tight, because today's class is gonna be like 2001 Barry Bonds. I don't really know exactly what that means, but you get it.
On that note, welcome to a Hump Day edition of Nightcaps – where we crank out homers with the Hooters girls and throw fastballs with bowling balls.
Yes, we'll get to both here in a minute.
What else? Former Broncos cheerleader Berkleigh Wright is now an SI swimsuit rookie, the baseball content from yesterday was maybe the best of the entire season, the NFL on FOX (great company!) crew hit the beach and things seem to be going well over in Colorado.
(Not really, it's coming apart at the seams, which anyone with half a brain saw coming).
Grab one of them espresso martinis and try to keep up, because we are ROLLING today:
The baseball content was flowing yesterday
Unreal day on the diamond, and I ain't even talking about the Hooters Baseball Babes. I mean, I will be talking about them, but not yet.
Nope. I'm talking about fights in Milwaukee, beehives in Arizona and an insane slide at home plate from this University of Texas at Rio Grande Valley player.
We also had Giancarlo Stanton making quite possibly the worst attempt at a pitch in the history of balls & strikes, and Bally Sports Florida girl Kelly Saco getting soaked down in Miami.
And they say baseball is dead. Come on. It's as alive as I can remember!
Hooters Girls recreate a League of their Own
That's a solid fight. Good first punch(es), decent contact, nice follow-thru. All in all, I give it a 7.6. Seen better. Definitely seen worse. Let's keep it up today, fellas!
As for the bee stuff … I was on the couch scrolling the late slate of games last night – once again trying to chase an awful gambling day, shocker – and saw that the D-Backs-Dodgers game was delayed.
Obviously, that's weird. Games in LA rarely get delayed. Games in Arizona – where there's a retractable roof – never get delayed. Imagine my surprise when I went over to Elon's Twitter and saw this:
Makes my skin crawl. I don't mess with bees/wasps. Terrified of them. I got attacked by a swarm of wasps when I was a kid and I haven't been the same since. They're the worst.
PS: how about the day Beekeeper Matt had? One minute you're closing up shop at the Blue Sky Pest Control’s Phoenix office, and the next you're firing up the crowd at Chase Field. What a life.
Make him the next commish, and make the SoFla Hooters girls the next expansion team!
Things seem like they're going well at Colorado
Welcome back to class, Hooters Emily! Haven't spoken to you since Daytona, but it's good to see you back in the swing of things.
(What an awful pun. I'm sorry).
Now, let's leave the diamond and head to the gridiron, where things are getting a bit dicey over at Deion Sanders U.
For those who haven't been following – and I certainly don't blame you – it's basically been a conveyor belt of talent in Boulder. One day, you have five players hit the portal and skip town. The next, a new batch arrives on campus.
At one point, I'm pretty sure one of the Sanders Sons posted on social media asking for any potential transfers to reach out to them via DM. What are we doing here?
Anyway, things might be nearing the dreaded boiling point out there. Just today, we had this little back-and-forth between transfer CB Xavier Smith, Shedeur Sanders and Deion:
Bowling alley brawl, golf course BRAWL & NFL on FOX beach day
I'm convinced that Deion Sanders could've single-handedly saved Bed, Bath & Beyond with his weird quotes. Imagine the pillows and mats BB&B could've made with weirdo sayings like that one.
What the hell does that even mean? How does he come up with this stuff?
"Admire you in a negative way" is some wild spin zone stuff from Prime. Love it.
PS: is Shedeur a top-five pick next year? Really? I'm seriously asking. I know he played behind a JV offensive line last season, but still.
OK, rapid-fire time on the way out so we can all go celebrate our Hump Days however we see fit.
First up? Striiiiiiiike!
Launching bowling balls at people's heads is psycho stuff. I mean, that could legit kill someone. Hell, it may have. At the very least, this woman's gonna have an attempted murder charge thrown at her if/when this poor lady wakes up from a coma.
They're built different down in Dade, folks. Sort of like these fellas up in Oklahoma:
Like the Brewers fight earlier, this is a solid one out of Owasso. I will say, and you have to watch it a couple times, but the fella on the right flopped BIG TIME. LeBron would've been proud after that one.
What do you reckon they were fighting about? I just can't personally imagine being that pissed at anyone other than myself after a round of golf. I played nine the other day and hit a couple so thin that I nearly took out a pair of houses behind the hole. I'm talking miles behind the hole.
That earned the 60-degree a nice punt to the woods on two separate occasions. It's always the club's fault, you know.
Finally, if you don't wanna spend what's left of your Hump Day at the bowling alley or golf course, you might as well hit up the beach!
Broncos cheerleader Berkleigh Wright takes us into Wednesday night
Thanks for the invite, guys!
These pictures always fascinate me. I don't know why, but seeing usually buttoned up folks out in the wild is just jarring.
- Terry Bradshaw and Jimmy Johnson were 100000% the life of the party here. Look at that combo. They're inseparable.
- Tom Brady? Talk about joining a group project on the last day and getting an A.
- Erin and Charissa? Electric. CBS, ABC, NBC and ESPN could never.
- Jay Glazer looks like he's ready to betray some people on Survivor.
- Gronk has no clue what's going on, but he's happy as a lark.
- Charles Woodson looks like he's ready for a beach pickup game to break out at any moment.
- Burkhardt going with the longsleeve collar shirt on the beach is peak white guy. I respect it. I relate to it.
Only thing these fine folks were missing was a little Berkleigh Wright. Luckily, that's where Nightcaps comes in.
See you tomorrow.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Will Colorado win 5 games this year? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.