Food Network's Giada De Laurentiis Cooks Up A Spicy Photoshoot, Sauced Tiger Woods & Star Wars Goes Gay

You ever played a solo round of golf and just dominate for nine holes, only to then realize nobody will ever believe you? The worst. 

Happened to me yesterday. The First Lady gave me the green light to go play a quick 9 since it was a billion degrees out, so off I went. 

Because I have Tuesdays off and no other regular human has Tuesdays off, I was on my own, which was fine. Couple Twisted Teas from the Wawa on the way to the course, five quickie drives off the range, and I was off to the first tee. 

Bogeyed 1 because I hit my approach shot like the amateur I am, and then found myself in a world of trouble on 2. Bad off the tee, layup back to the fairway, and my third shot was skull you-know-what past the hole and off to the right. 

So there I was, about 25 yards away in the rough (mild rough, this ain't exactly a PGA course), just trying to make my way back to the green. 

And then, somehow, I found the bottom of the hole. Just like that. Up and down. One bounce, off the flagstick, and in. First time ever. Unreal par-save. Felt like Tiger in 2008 at Torrey. What a feeling. 

And nobody was there to see it. Hell, I even turned around to the house behind me praying some 75-year-old grandma was getting her tan on by the pool, but it was empty. Sad. 

Anyway, I needed to tell someone, the First Lady probably wouldn't have appreciated it as much as some of you do, so here I am. Telling you now. It's the little things in life, you know?

On that note, welcome to a Hump Day Nightcaps – where we welcome Food Network star Giada De Laurentiis to class in maybe my favorite find yet. Didn't know Giada could bring the heat like this outside the kitchen, but I'm glad I found out. 

What else? I've got Jason Day back on the course with another dominant outfit, Star Wars being insufferable (and I ain't talking about Last Jedi), and guess what?! It's apparently the Summer of Threesomes in New York City. Who knew? 

I told you Monday that the second half of the 2024 season was gonna be a wild ride, and we're off to a BLAZING start.

Grab you a bottle of Ketchup for National Ketchup Day and let's ROLL. 

Food Network's Giada De Laurentiis checks in

By the way, ketchup is far and away the best condiment in the world. Not even close. I'd put ketchup on everything if it was socially acceptable. 

You wanna know one of the best parts of a hamburger? The lettuce-tomato-ketchup combo. True story. There is no better bite in the world than a McDonald's french fry and ketchup. None. 

You remember when McDonald's had those tiny paper ketchup cups? Maybe they still do, I don't know. Admittedly, I haven't been inside an actual McDonald's in at least a decade. 

But I used to PLOW through those things as a fat kid. Just mow them down. It was awesome. 

Remember these bad boys?

We used to be such a great country. What happened? 

Anyway, all that to say, ketchup is great in the kitchen, and, apparently, so is Giada De Laurentiis. 

Star Wars & Idaho

I LOVED the Food Network growing up. Couldn't get enough of it. Now, it's pretty much just nonstop episodes of Beat Bobby Flay, which is fine because I like that show, but it certainly ain't what it used to be. 

I actually despised Giada back in the day. I always thought she was so fake and acted so proper, and it bugged the hell out of me. Obviously, I'm all in now. The fastball is still very much there and she seems to be subtly dabbling in the Instagram influencer game, which I appreciate.

So, welcome to class, Giada! Bon appétit. 

As far as I know, she's as straight as an arrow, too, which means she could feast like a king in Idaho:

Fifteen percent off your entire bill on Hump Day? Sign us all up! Hilarious. I'm not gonna lie, him saying Idaho is the reddest state in the country hurt me a bit because I'd throw Florida in that category, but I also understand Orlando ruins it for us, so I get it. 

PS: love that he's packing heat the entire time. What a Cowboy. 

You reckon they'll be showing the new Star Wars series on any of them heterosexual TVs this month?

Jason Day and Eldrick 

I mean, what are we doing here? We are so freaking lost it's not even funny anymore. Well, it is funny, but more so in a "laugh so you don't cry" sort of way. 

I've skipped like the last three Disney Star Wars projects. Frankly, I've really only watched Obi-Wan, which was awesome. Credit where it's due, they nailed that one. 

But I was just telling the First Lady the other night that I may wanna dabble in this one because I saw lightsabers in the promo, and that spells F.U.N. for this old school Star Wars fan. But now? Nope. Pass. No chance. 

And it's got nothing to do with gay people. Couldn't care less. You wanna be gay? Go for it. Do you. But for the love of God, stop shoving it down our throats (I mean, the pun wasn't intended but how can it not be just a little?). Why does it need to be the gayest ever? Was anyone asking for that? 

Of course not! Not even gay people were asking for it! We don't care. We don't wanna know. We just want to watch Jedi fights and cool force powers. Maybe mix in a little Duel of the Fates music here and there. That's it. 

I hate Disney so, so, sooooo much. I feel so bad for George Lucas. He should have NEVER sold out. What a shame. 

By the way, and I know some of you aren't ready for this conversation yet, but the last 30 minutes of Phantom Menace are the best 30 minutes of the entire saga. That's right. I said it. Non-negotiable. 

OK, back to the links! 

Big weekend for the fellas up in Ohio, and our guy Jason Day is READY to crush it once again. I couldn't get enough of his Masters outfits, and he's back today with an absolute heater of a uniform. 

NYC 123, gamblin' & Hooters Emily is feeling blue

Tiger! Our man was absolutely battling through that interview, and he did the best he could. Respect the hell out of it. We've all been there. That's pretty much me every single time with the First Lady after I get home from playing 18 with the boys. 

One word at a time. 

OK, rapid-fire time on this Hump Day afternoon. Speaking of …

I mean, there are just so many HOF quotes in this one I don't even know where to begin. 

1. "I’m new to threesomes; my first one was about a month and a half ago," Greenpoint resident Emily Kelly*, 27, told The Post.

2. Will Blake*, 35, told The Post he’s hoping to have a "devil’s threesome" — a slang term for an MMF ménage à trois. The corporate lawyer, who lives on the Lower East Side and is straight, has already been to bed with two women at the same time.

3. When asked if he was worried about any stigma surrounding a threesome with another man, Blake told The Post: "Who cares? It’s New York. Anything goes."

"It gets slutty in summer," he said of the city’s sexual energy, saying horny, hedonistic locals buck convention and defy labels when the weather gets warm.

4. * Names were changed for privacy reasons.

On a totally unrelated note, maybe I'll finally visit the FOX offices in Manhattan this summer. Haven't been yet and I've been itching to go. We'll see!

Next? How about this recent Duke baseball graduate? 

This kid's gonna be an absolute star. There's nothing like placing that first parlay. Hits like crack (allegedly). I won $500 off my first free Hard Rock bet last fall and I still think about it at least once a day. 

Nothing like it. 

OK, that's it for today. Class dismissed! Happy Hump Day, everyone. Chin up, Hooters Emily. 

See you tomorrow. 

OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).

You pumped up for the new gay Star Wars? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.