Cavinder Twins Double-Team A Jet Ski, LeBron James' Idiocy Hits All-Time High & Woke Alex Morgan Shows Spine
Well, how'd we all make out? We good? Hungover? Full of shame? Ready to attack a new week with clear eyes and full hearts?
Somewhere in the middle? Yeah, that's probably yours truly.
It's a Monday in early-March. Pretty dreary here in free Florida. The big news today was Jason Kelce retiring.
I can't think of anything right now, at this exact moment in time, that I could possibly care less about, frankly. But, that's how life goes on March 4. We work with what we got – and right now, we've got that.
Not here, though! We're gonna find a way to entertain everyone and put on a great damn class for you, because you all deserve it after surviving another big weekend.
On that note, welcome to a Monday Nightcaps – the one where I'm going to do exactly what I just said I'd do.
So, we're gonna check in with the Cavinder twins as they enjoy a spring Sunday on the lake. Seems like a good way to start a week, right?
We're also going to check in with woke queen Alex Morgan because she actually showed some spark over the weekend, and then make fun of LeBron James, who is just such an idiot I can't even wrap my head around it anymore.
Seriously, the guy is such a narcissist it's INSANE.
Maybe we'll talk some George Jones, too. Why? You'll see!
Grab a drink, make it a double because it's a Monday, and settle in for as exciting a March 4 class as you'll attend today!
Haley and Hanna Cavinder start spring on the lake
Been a while since we checked in on the Cavinder twins, so might as well fix that today.
Before we hop on a jet ski, though, I would like to talk some country music …
For starters – and I promise this all ties together sort of – I rode the hell out of the new F-150 this past weekend. What a delight. Can't believe I went this long without one.
Anyway, while making my eighth trip to Publix in two days, I realized there was a CD player in it. An actual CD player. Forgot those were a thing back in the day, but I reckon that's what you get when you buy a 2013 vehicle.
For shits and gigs, I decided to see if anything by chance was still in it, because Lord knows I don't have any CDs lying around.
And buddy, did she pop out an absolute GEM:
It was a damn Best Of collection of George freaking Jones. Ol Possum himself. In the flesh. Insane. What a find.
I've been playing it on loop ever since and, frankly, may never stop. I'm not sure there could've been a better CD in there. I certainly couldn't have picked a better one myself.
Anyway, we all know George would've loved Nightcaps, for very obvious reasons. He wasn't called No Show Jones by accident, you know.
So, in honor of George and the above song that came out of nowhere in my truck last Saturday, here are the Cavinder Twins on the lake.
See! Told you I'd make it (sort of) tie together.
What a weekend for idiots! Let's start with Alex Morgan
Welcome back to class, Haley and Hanna Cavinder! It's been a while. Enjoy the Bahamas!
Now, let's go from a couple sane athletes to a truly idiotic duo: LeBron James and Alex Morgan.
Didn't think I'd ever welcome them to class, but – again – it's March 4. When life hands you lemons …
We'll start with Alex, because at least this one isn't all bad. The wokest USWNT player not named Megan Rapinoe got a little heated over the weekend, frankly showing more fight than we've seen … ever?
I don't like soccer, don't watch it, can't stand it – but at least we saw an ounce of backbone out of the women after what they tell me was an embarrassing summer.
LeBron James continues to be down to earth and live in complete reality
Just kidding! Duh. Guy is insane.
For those who missed it – and I don't know how you could have because people acted like it was the second coming of Christ on Saturday – LeBron scored his 40,000th point.
It's probably a big deal – again, couldn't care less – and that's all well and good. I used to like LeBron. I really did. When he went back to Cleveland and beat the Warriors, it was awesome. That's probably the last time I ever watched the NBA.
He's the worst now. Truly, the worst. Great player. Maybe the best ever. But he's just insufferable.
OutKick's Geoff Clark summed it up best … way better than I ever could.
Kacey Musgraves and Sid the Kid rocked the internet & how about the Ga. Tech freshman?
I mean, how could you possibly be that full of crap? That's literally a lie. Just a plain lie.
I remember when LeBron came into the league, because it was all anyone could talk about for months. It was a huge deal. And nobody and I mean nobody was rooting against him. Nobody wanted to see him fail.
He was the most hyped phenom in my life at that time – probably only matched since by Bryce Harper – and people couldn't get enough. Shut up, LeBron. Please. Enough already. We get it.
PS: I'm sorry for making you listen to 90 seconds of LeBron James talking in third person. That was rough.
Rapid-fire time on this first Monday of March!
First up? How about Georgia Tech freshman Drew Burress? Speaking of must-see phenoms …
You wanna see just an insane stat line through 10 games? Drew here is hitting .432 with 10 HR, 21 RBI and a 1.873 OPS.
And he's only a freshman. A freshman! This kid could hit in the middle of the Red Sox order NEXT MONTH. Seriously. Electric.
Next? Who's excited for spring break?! Miami ain't.
I've got some bad news for ya'll down there – this will do absolutely nothing. Nada. Zilch.
Daytona Beach tried to stop Truck Week a few years ago because it was insane. Seriously, the amount of arrests in a three-day span from Fri-Sun was comical.
So they tried to end it. Put a lid on it. Said it was no longer here. Canceled forever. Don't bother coming down!
And guess what? Every summer, we still get absolutely bent over by trucks down here around the first or second week of June.
Can't wait to blast George Jones with them this year!
Finally, I know everyone already blogged about Sydney Sweeney on SNL over the weekend, so I won't bore you with that.
Instead, I'd like to appreciate Kacey Musgraves, who more than held her own with Sid the Kid on the big stage.
Welcome back to class!
Take us into a big week, Ivanka Trump
What an outfit choice there from Sydney Sweeney. What a duo.
And what a showing from OutKick's Geoff Clarke today. Two separate cameos! What a day.
Now let's head out to India with Ivanka and celebrate the Supreme Court's decision!
Have a week, everyone.
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Have a CD that could beat George Jones? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.