Can Smelling Your Own Farts Make You A Genius? Science Says So
This study is your wife's worst nightmare.
When it comes to "trusting the science," the track record has been dubious at best.
With the news coming out that COVID vaccines probably do more harm than good (who could have seen that one coming), it's hard to know what's real and what's wrong these days.
One new study I can get behind is this one from researchers at John's Hopkins University that smells a little funky.
Back in my day, calling someone a fart sniffer was an insult, but if this study is to be believed, that might not be the case any longer.
According to the study in the New York Post, there are chemicals in our farts that, when taken in through the nose, can protect against cognitive decline, including Alzheimer's.
"Our new data firmly link aging, neurodegeneration and cell signaling using hydrogen sulfide and other gaseous molecules within the cell," said Dr. Bindu Paul, associate professor at the prestigious medical center and co-author of the study.
How did they figure all of this out?
Well, like any great evil scientist, the researchers used genetically altered mice and injected them with a hydrogen sulfide-carrying compound that mimics a human fart.
Because of course they did!
The mice who received the hydrogen sulfide treatment were more physically active and displayed better memory, while their cognitive and motor functions improved by 50 percent.
Regardless, the internet had plenty of jokes, as they always do when it comes to things of this nature.
All jokes aside, this is great news for every guy who loves to torment his wife or girlfriend with their farts.
The next time you let one rip around your woman, just remind her that you're doing this to improve your cognitive function.
The last thing she wants to do is take care of you in your dementia-adled old age.
As long as she endures your farts now, you'll save her plenty of headaches down the line.
Suffer in the present for a better future.
Sometimes I love science!